Sex Toys Helped Me Discover the Beauty and Pleasure of Self-Love

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As told to Nicole Audrey Spector

Growing up, sex wasn’t something that was openly discussed in our home. I learned everything about it from movies and television shows. Then there was sex ed class, of course, which taught that unless a man and woman were married and looking to reproduce, sex was bad, bad, bad.

Despite the shame around sex — or maybe even because of it — I started having sex young, at 15 years old. My first time wasn’t a bad experience exactly but it was hardly the stuff of ecstasy and explosions that the media had led me to believe it would be.

A year later, at 16, I got my first sex toy. I remember it so well. The humiliation of it all. The fear of being busted for being curious about my body and my sensuality.

I slipped into the sex shop like a spy, decked out in sunglasses and a hoodie. I recall the exact toy I bought: a classic rabbit, which I thought was what every adult woman used to pleasure herself with. My imagination was quite limited. I was only 16, after all.

I was worried that someone would hear me, so I hid in the attic to use the vibrator. With it, I quickly achieved a full-blown orgasm and was in awe of how wonderful it felt.

Though I enjoyed my experience with the vibrator, there was something about pleasuring myself that made me feel afraid, guilty even. I just wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I felt so embarrassed and like I was doing something I should be ashamed of. After all, what role did masturbation play in sex, which, as I had learned in sex ed, was all about reproduction? All about being with someone else?

The idea of self-intimacy made me cringe. I never let myself think about it for long. As the years went on, my feelings of shame around my sexuality deepened. In the bedroom, I was more of a people pleaser than a self-pleaser. I didn’t know I deserved better. By then I barely used my rickety old vibrator. I felt disconnected from it, and as I began to look more closely at my life I realized I felt disconnected from myself.

It wasn’t until my first truly healthy relationship with a man that I started to do the work of engaging with my sexuality — of really examining what it was that would satisfy and honor it. My partner and I formed a safe, trusting space where I felt comfortable experimenting with new sex toys.

Once we began to try new things, it was as though my world cracked open and out rushed my inner goddess. I learned that there was a whole universe of objects designed to tease and awaken my erotic spirit. Now that I had a partner who helped me to feel secure, I was able to truly blossom into my own sexual being.

Though that partner and I have since parted ways, I have held onto the invaluable wisdom that I achieved with the help of his nurturing love, and I have built upon that wisdom. My life now revolves around it and all the beautiful awakenings that it has rendered. I am now a self-love and manifestation coach devoted to helping others realize the beauty and power in pleasure and self-partnership.

Today, I use sex toys as part of my regular self-intimacy practice. I incorporate traditional vibrators, and I also experiment with a vast array of other tools such as yoni eggs and crystal wands. The vulva and vagina are such multifaceted parts of our anatomies, and there are so many different ways to excite and fulfill them.

I consider self-pleasuring as distinctly different than masturbating, which, in my opinion, is something you do to quickly release a build up of tension. There’s no shame in that — or any of this — but it’s different than the art of self-pleasuring, which I see more as a way of making love to one’s self and of paying tribute to the glorious and sacred temple that is the human body.

When I have sex with myself (toys in tow, typically), I am exceedingly slow and curious with my body. I caress my calves and hips and breasts. I take deep, cleansing breaths and relish every sumptuous moment of the explosive release.

I also put in a special effort to create an experience for myself that is special and intimate. I turn the lights down low and put on some sexy music. I light candles and throw on lingerie. I take in my body with curiosity and admiration.

I take the time to make myself feel treasured and revered, just as I would do with any partner I care about. Because the truth is, I am with a partner — a partner I love very deeply and hold on the highest of pedestals. That partner is me.


Pact with a Witch v0.06.02 [English/Español]

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Pact with a Witch / Pacto con una bruja

Company:JohnnyMelabo Productions
Year:2017-11-28
Language:English / Español
Voice:No – only sfx
Type:Visual Novel / ADV
Size:223.MB
Mega Mediafire

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Your roommate and best friend tries to rape Neus, the most introverted girl in the whole design school, who bites him just after you save her.

You discover that bite was not only for self-defense. It also contains a curse that turns your roommate step by step into a girl. With every day that passes, he seems to forget more of his past and becom more attracted to you.

To save your friend, you make a pact wit Neus to have 4 dates, and the last night she promises to return his original male form to your buddy. Although it seems that she keeps her word, there are sinister things she had not told you yet.

[Edited from Lemmasoft thread]

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tagIncest/TabooDoc Von Scouries: Case #01

Doc Von Scouries: Case #01

One of my second cousins, Andy Von Scouries, a psychiatrist, is the hero of the following tale (they still use the Von in their branch of the family). When Andy and his sister were down visiting in Florida last winter they told me about some of his most interesting cases. He was hoping I'd write some of them up for him so he also left me a copy of his case notes and some of the video of the various sessions to ensure accuracy. Next time I'm up visiting him he's promised to let me sit in on one of his cases. Which should be interesting!

While this story is in the Incest category, in essence it's a Doctor/Patient story. It's approximately 4 LITEROTICA pages long. All sex described is between 18+ year old adults. ENJOY!

Doctor Von Scouries: Case #1 Katherine

Session #1

"You're going to like this one Andy," my secretary Gabrielle said with a saucy laugh as she dropped a slim folder onto the desk in front of me and then came around the desk and stood next to me.

"Am I Miss G?" I asked as I flipped open the file with my left hand while moving my right hand onto the plaid miniskirt that hardly covered her still teenaged bum.

"Uh huh," she giggled.

"How come?" I asked idly as I read the notes on the page. The fingers of my right hand slipped under the hem of her skirt and onto her silken skin.

"She's young ... beautiful ... smart ... sexy ... successful ... a redhead ," Gaby answered as she ticked off the reasons on her fingers. I slipped my hand inside her panties and then under until a finger found her moist slit.

"Why's she here then?" I asked as I slid my finger deep inside her.

"Andeeee!" she groaned softly, then added, "her G.P., your pal Doctor Farley, recommended you again."

"Good old Mandy," I said as my mind momentarily flicked to an image of my old med school classmate who was now in general practice in the city and who was quite happy to refer her crazy patients to me.

"That's the third one she's sent us this year, I don't think she knows there are any other psychiatrists in town," Gabrielle added. She was starting to urgently buck her pelvis against my hand.

"I used to help her with her studies when we were back in med school. I'll have to give her a very big Christmas present," I said as thoughts of my student days intruded.

"Hah! Studying! The only thing you two were studying was each others anatomy," my nineteen year old secretary scoffed. "And may I remind you boss, Doctor Farley is now a married woman. You're not allowed to give her any more of your beeeeg gifts doctor," Gabrielle instructed as she ran her palm slowly down and across my crotch.

"Sit on the desk," I ordered as I pulled my finger out of her and moved my chair so that I could position her between my legs.

"Like this?" she asked as she hopped up so her perfectly formed rear end was perched on the edge of my desk and her legs were splayed wide open.

"That'll do fine Miss G.," I agreed as I placed my hands under her skirt and grasped the top of the polka dotted silk boy shorts she was wearing as panties that day. I quickly slipped them down her legs and then brought them to my face.

"You and your panty fetish," she chastened as her fingers found my zipper, "I think you're the one who needs the doctor."

"Do you?" I asked as I stood, my rampant, blood filled cock straining upward through my now open zipper. Gaby's panties were around my head. The trimmed triangle of her blond, almost white, pubic pelt pointed to the spot my cockhead urgently probed for.

Then I pushed the bulblike end of my throbbing penis between her vaginal lips.

"Ohhhhhhhh Andy," she groaned as my thrusting lance punched deep inside her. And as I fucked my nineteen year old secretary I didn't give one thought to the red haired patient who was sitting patiently in my waiting room. Nor could my new patient hear the lusty screams that were soon echoing around my office -- an office that had been carefully soundproofed by my grandfather some fifty years earlier.

Her back was lying on the cool, smooth polished wood of my desktop, and her legs were resting on my shoulders while her bum was arching upward off the desk, writhing in the throes of her teenage orgasm, when the first thick, warm stream of my cum splattered angrily into the deepest recess of her womb.

"Little blond slut," I accused as my sperm continued to spit inside her.

"Sicko pervert," she spat back with a laugh as she tightened her legs around my head.

"Hussy! You always get so wet and excited when I get a new patient don't you?"

Ten minutes later my secretary led Katherine Erin O'Malley through my office door and introduced me to my new patient. Gaby hadn't lied! The red haired beauty that stood in front of me was simply stunning. Tall and lithe, the thousand dollar, perfectly tailored business suit she was wearing couldn't hide her womanly curves.

"Katherine with a K," my new patient advised in her first words to me while offering me her hand.

"An Irish beauty worthy of the Hills of Tara and the Kings who roamed there,'" I intoned as I took her hand and raised it to my lips.

"Hardly," she said with raised eyebrows as she reclaimed her hand. Her white, almost translucent skin had no defense against the blush that had spread into her cheeks.

"And from what I understand the up and coming young legal superstar of our fair cities number one law firm," I added as I directed her to a seat in front of my desk and nodded to Gaby, letting her know she was dismissed. The little hussy actually had the temerity to stick out her tongue at me as she backed out the door. Fortunately my new patient missed our little interplay. I then took my place behind my desk. A pen and pad were the only items that marred its smooth surface but I couldn't help but notice the smell of my secretary's sex that still lingered in the air.

"I'm just a hundred hour a week gopher for the partners," Katherine O'Malley answered but I could see she was pleased at my description and the fact that I'd clearly done some research on her in preparation of our meeting. I watched as her eyes traveled around the office slowly, clearly registering every detail. I even noticed when her nose rose just a titch as she inhaled the unexpected odor.

"It's beautiful ... the house I mean ... everything," she said as she indicated her surroundings. "How'd you ever find it let alone afford it?"

"Good genes," I answered solemnly.

"Good genes? I don't- -"

"I inherited it," I said as I interrupted her. "Granddad," I added as I saw the question in her eye.

"You own the whole thing, I thought there were other offices or something," she started, the wonder clear in her voice.

"My great grandfather had it built for him in 1911," I supplied. "He was a doctor, so was my grandfather."

"A family of psychiatrists?"

"No," I said with a chuckle, "they were both gynecologists. They worked here downstairs and lived on the top floors."

"Gaaawd, you live here too?"

"All my life," I nodded. I was used to the endless questions about my house. Now designated a protected 'Historical House' by the State's Heritage Commission, it was one of the last great city mansions still standing in the small residential quarter that sat between the University district and the downtown skyscrapers.

For five minutes she peppered me with questions about the house -- I let her, I knew she was nervous and wasn't quite ready to spill her guts.

"Well, maybe we should start," I finally said, then lifted my pen from the desk and sat with an expectant look on my face. My patient, nonplussed for just a moment, put her hands in her lap and lowered her eyes. But then almost immediately raised them again and looked up into mine.

"I've been feeling strange ... no, different ...," she started tentatively, clearly unsure of herself. I recognized immediately that this reticence wasn't in Katherine's nature.

"I'm physically well," she added quickly as I started to write on my pad. "Doctor Farley gave me a clean bill of health. I've always been athletic," she added.

"You're a swimmer I'll bet," I said with a touch of admiration in my voice.

"How'd you know? Did Doctor Farley tell you?"

"Just a guess," I answered as I wrote another few words on my pad. I could see her curiosity as she tried to read my scrawl upside down.

"Oh. Anyway, as I was saying, it isn't anything- -"

"Could I interrupt you for just one second Miss O'Malley?" I asked, a more formal doctoral tone suddenly in my voice.

"Yes ... of course Doctor, I'm sorry I was just - -"

"I wonder if before we got too much into your story you could do me a favor?"

"Of course doctor," my pretty redhead eagerly agreed as she leaned forward in her chair. I could see she was in no particular rush to tell me why she was visiting a psychiatrist.

"Could you take off your clothes for me Miss O'Malley?" I asked softly. Before the true impact of my words hit her I saw her fingers involuntarily dart to the top button of her jacket.

She'd actually undone the button before she realized what I'd asked. "What? Why?" Not answering I decided to wait her out. "Doctor Farley's given me a complete physical examination ... just two weeks ago. That's what I was just saying."

"So you'd prefer not to disrobe?" I asked as I quickly wrote a few more lines on my pad.

"I'd just like to understand why," the young lawyer said as she fidgeted in her seat. "What did you write?" she asked, unable to hide her curiosity.

"It's not that important for now," I said but in a tone that that conveyed just the opposite. "Feel free to leave your clothes on Katherine," I offered in a friendly tone as I wrote a few more cryptic words on my page and then underlined them twice.

"I didn't think ... I mean ... I thought you'd just have me lie on a couch or something. Like in the movies," she stammered as she indicated the analyst's couch I had off to the right of my desk. "That you'd ask me about my dreams and stuff," the clearly flustered lawyer added.

"Every psychiatrist operates differently," I explained softly, then jotted another quick note on my pad and then flipped over the page.

"If you want me to I will," Katherine offered as she moved forward on her chair. "You're the doctor."

"I don't want you uncomfortable on your first visit Miss O'Malley," I answered as I shifted back to formality. "We'll do something else instead."

"I don't mind, I really don't, really Doctor Von Scouries ... it's just..." I watched her as her voice trailed off in confusion but again I noticed how quickly this extremely bright lawyer recovered. "Was this some kind of psychiatric test? Is that it?" she asked, her sharp mind having decided on the reason for my request.

"We're not in school Miss O'Malley," I chided gently. "We're not giving out gold stars for getting the answers right." I knew as I talked with a one hundred percent certainty that this ambitious girl in front of me had striven all her life to get every gold star she could.

"I'll do it. I want to," Katherine almost shouted as she sprang from her seat.

"NO!" I instructed as she slipped the jacket down her arms. Her breasts were high and pointed under the white silk blouse she'd exposed. I stood up and walked over to her as she stood undecided, the jacket hanging forlornly from her hand.

"Come over here Katherine," I invited as I led her towards the full length mirror that hung on the side wall. "Smile," I instructed once I had her directly facing her image.

"Your biggest, friendliest, happiest smile," I instructed.

"What do you mean," she asked, her face torn in confusion. I simply waited until she broke into a grimacing smile and asked, "Like this?"

"No Miss O'Malley," I said, then turned and walked back to my desk. I sat and started to write.

"It's not that easy," I heard and looked up to see an angry patient facing me.

"Could you tell me a joke then Katherine," I asked.

"A joke? What kind of joke?" my now clearly befuddled patient asked.

"Maybe a lawyer joke," I offered tentatively, then added, "I'm sure you must know one of those."

"That's not funny ... if you want me to strip just tell me. You want me to don't you?" my patient demanded as she dropped her jacket on my desk and started to undo the buttons on her blouse. It soon was dropped on top of her jacket. As Miss O'Malley unerringly undid the buttons and zipper on her skirt her angry eyes never left mine.

"I don't suppose you have a hanger," she asked when she'd rid herself of the skirt. I shook my head no.

"It's a beautifully made garment," I said as I ran my fingers over her jacket. "Paris? Haut couture?" I asked admiringly.

"No, its prêt-a-porter. From Bloomingdales. It's a Donna Karen. My underwear too?" she then asked.

"Whatever you're comfortable with Miss O'Malley."

Her bra, part of a matching lace set in lilac, quickly joined the pile on my desk. She had a pair of those high, proud, firm conical breasts that invariably come capped with pink, puffy nipples. And they were just the right size -- big enough to fill your hand and big enough so that they jiggled delightfully when she bent to lower her lace trimmed panties. But with no trace of sag!

Her sex, once she'd bared it for me, was covered by a perfect triangle of wispy and curly red hairs that hardly concealed the flowery petals of the lips that advertised her femaleness.

"You don't shave?" I asked after I'd slowly inspected her.

"No," she answered as one of her palms, unbidden by her, slipped down to cover her groin.

"Please sit Katherine," I offered. I then started to write on my pad.

"Should I stay naked?" she asked tentatively as she hovered over the seat.

"Please. If that's alright with you." I could see it wasn't alright with her but she sat anyway, finally crossing her legs after trying a couple of positions. I waited for her to begin.

"I'm not that sick," she finally started. I let her stumble on for a few sentences before I interrupted.

"Before we get too far into your story Miss O'Malley I think maybe it'd be best for me to describe my methods and how I plan to cure you."

"You don't even know what's wrong with me yet," she responded, a touch of lawyerly anger and impatience now having crept into her voice.

"Do you want to be cured Katherine?"

"Well yes ... of course, why do you think I'm here, especially at these prices, it's just that--"

"Do you know Katherine that many of my colleagues never cure their patients? Don't even try."

"They don't?" There's both surprise and interest in her voice now. "Why not?" It was almost a demand.

"Oh they say they're trying but the truth is they hate it when a patient leaves them. They fall in love with their patients."

"They do? All of them? Sexually? But--"

"No not sexually. Although of course some do."

"That would be unethical behavior, actionable in court," my lawyer patient announced.

"Yes it would," I agreed. "But that's not the real reason they never cure anyone. It's because they regard a patient's mental well being as a lifelong job for themselves."

"And you people aren't cheap," my patient, who just happened to be a member of a true bloodsucking, fee charging profession, claimed indignantly. I thought it best not to bring up lawyers fees in response; instead I simply waited for her to continue.

"And you're different?" she finally ventured.

"Seventeen weeks Miss O'Malley."

"Seventeen weeks what?" the clearly confused girl asked.

"I cure all my patients in seventeen weeks."

"All of them?"

"So far," I answered as I tapped the wood surface of my desk for luck.

"But what if they're really, really, really sick?"

"I cure them all Katherine," I insisted.

"Do you make all your patients disrobe for you doctor?" There was a touch of irritation back in Katherine's voice as she spoke.

"Even the men?" she probed.

"I only accept female patients Miss O'Malley."

"Whaaaat? Why?"

"I'm a specialist," I answered. I could see the thoughts and questions swirling behind her eyes. "Men and women have completely different psychiatric problems."

"You're a criminal lawyer Katherine, I'm sure you wouldn't try to advise me on real estate law would you?"

"Of course not."

"Well then why would I try to cure a man? Actually, I specialize even further Miss O'Malley."

"You do?"

"Yes ma'am," I said with a smile, "I only treat healthy, beautiful, young women. Between eighteen and thirty only. Period."

"That's crazy! They're probably the people who need the least help."

"Exactly," I said as I beamed at her in approval, then bent and wrote a few more words on my pad. Then looking back over at her I added, "I think we're making some wonderful progress Katherine."

"You don't even know what's wrong with me," she complained but I could see she was reassured by my words.

"We'll have you right as rain soon. By the way, that's one of the main reasons I had you disrobe. Just to make sure you are as advertised without clothes."

"You mean you couldn't tell if I was pretty enough when I was dressed? If I met your standards?"

I chuckled, then answered, "I have a colleague who treated a beautiful young woman for three years before he found out she was a man."

"Three years?"

"So you see Katherine, in one fell swoop I made sure I didn't waste three years of your valuable time and thousands and thousands of dollars of your money. And all it took was two minutes of your time."

"That's crazy," my patient accused.

"I'm not the one seeing a psychiatrist Katherine," I answered with a wide smile.

"You think I'm crazy?"

"Don't worry Katherine, I'll cure you," I promised.

"In seventeen weeks right?" she asked wryly.

"And week ones time is now almost up," I answered as I made a point of checking my watch.

"Already? We didn't make much progress."

"Patience my dear."

"I should get dressed?" I nodded, then sat back in my chair and watched my patient as she dressed. There was no shyness in her actions as she pulled her panties up her legs, no turning away from me as she lifted the bra from the desk and covered the nipples that were arching erect up from the puffiness of her pink aureoles. In fact there was a strutting pride in her as she displayed herself to me. I could smell her excitement.

Finally, dressed, she said, "So that's it?"

"For this week," I agreed and watched as she turned towards the door. "But before you leave, I wonder if I could ask you one more small favor Miss O'Malley?"

"Of course Doctor," she agreed, happy I think that her first session was over but also that I'd given her a definite time frame for her cure. Somehow, even though she'd sat naked in front of me for nearly fifty minutes, I knew she'd found it easier than she'd expected.

"You may find it a strange request," I warned.

There was a smile on her face when she answered, "Why aren't I surprised Doctor?" In just one session I'd relaxed her!

"It is part of your cure," I promised, but then added, "mostly anyway."

"Mostly? Well, what is it Doctor?"

"I was wondering if you'd leave me your panties."

"What! The ones I'm wearing? Why?" she asked. Immediately I could see her mind go into high gear. I simply waited. That was the beauty of having intelligent patients -- they always wanted to figure out everything themselves and in doing so opened themselves up to the probing doctor's eyes. "I have an important meeting in thirty minutes ... with some of the senior partners," she said stalling. I said nothing. "Alright, alright, I'll do it. I know these are more of these psychiatric tests aren't they? To see how I react. I'm right aren't I?" she asked as she quickly lifted the skirt of her suit and then slipped the lace trimmed panties from her loins and handed them to me.

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July 6, 2022