Archive | Sexy-ism vs. Women’s Human Rights RSS feed for this sectionAn open letter to Creative Loafing Atlanta on the occasion of the inauguration of Are You Shaved

21 Dec

Dear Creative Loafing,

The cover story for your December 15-21 issue, sporting the title, “Melysa Martinez, our new sex columnist, asks, ‘Is Atlanta uptight?‘” has forced me, at last, to write the letter I’ve been meaning to write ever since I read your embarrassment of a “college guide” issue a few months ago (of which I re-purposed fifteen copies to protect my hardwood floors from cat piss while training my cat to use his litter box).

The title led me to a few related assumptions before I had even opened the paper. First, since Creative Loafing had hired a woman to write its sex column, I figured I could look forward to a little less of the doltism – and, often, brazen misogyny — exhibited by the dude who preceded her. But second, I worried, as I am wont to do whenever a faux-progressive media outlet hires a woman to talk about sex, that once again I’d be seeing consumerist, destructive, male-centric ideas about sexuality insidiously smuggled into the minds of the unthoughtful under the guise of being woman-approved. It was worse than I thought. It appears that not only will CL be selling hackneyed rehashings of bro-ish sex fantasies in boxes stamped with the woman-approved seal, but the (empty) “punk rock” imprimatur will also help ensure that no one analyzes or criticizes those fantasies lest they be deemed uncool.

There are things I like about Atlanta, but Atlanta’s take on counter-culture is not one of them. I understand that many of the people who live here have come here to escape reactionary, conformist realities of which most people may never be able to apprehend the depths. Still, I expect that anyone claiming to occupy a socially transgressive role actually do so, and that is simply not the case with many people in this town. It’s 2011. Getting tattoos, advertising one’s love for tits/tacos/booze by means of wacky novelty t-shirts (vintage or not), or involving oneself in the local horror movie lovers’ scene does not make one a revolutionary, but rather a consumer of one or more commercially conceived and marketed lifestyles. The fact that the bulk of the counter-cultural activity in town revolves around Clothing Warehouse and people getting wasted in one of eight or so bars can be blamed in part, I’m sure, on the gentrification of the city in recent years, as well as on the corporate media concentration which began in the late 90s and saw all of the avenues for rebellious expression bought up, repackaged, and sold to kids who would never be the wiser. But Creative Loafing is also complicit in the devolution of the city’s cultural life. There are smaller cities in this country with far more interesting music, art, and political environments. What they all have in common is a thriving, responsible alternative media presence, not a choice between a weekly headed by a Republican asshole and a weekly that exists to advertise the fact that some dude partied with some shitty band, that yet another new junk food chic restaurant is trying to sell $18 burgers with sous-vide dog turds on them while no one knows where to buy dumplings on Buford Highway, and that there is a chick in town with tattoos who drinks whiskey and likes to fuck (you don’t say!). In the text of the article, Martinez makes reference to playing tug-of-war with her “four-legged daughter,” mentions a thwarted desire to move to New York City, and recounts a conversation with a male friend from San Francisco in which she bemoans the fact that men don’t ask her out, concluding that men are intimidated by her. Where have I heard this before?

I don’t expect much from Atlantans anymore when it comes to thoughtfulness, especially when it comes to discussions of human sexuality, but I suppose I’ll scream into the void anyway and voice my grievances with the article itself.

A sex column called Are You Shaved? Really, now. Martinez claims in comments to the online version of the article that she chose the name after hearing the question posed to the title character in the movie Amelie. I’ve (unfortunately) seen the movie, but I forgot that line. So did everyone else. Leaving aside the juvenile asininity of such a title, is there a female human being under thirty (surely, Creative Loafing imagines its audience, roughly, to be 18-30-year-olds) who isn’t? I was under the impression that the porn industry had ensured by this point that there are only nine heterosexual men alive in America who don’t pressure their female partners to remove their pubes regularly, to the point that women, when surveyed on the subject, have come to feel such shame over the natural state of their bodies that they claim to remove their pubes in toto because they think they are “dirty” or “unsanitary.” Martinez says that she likes “to see the question as a metaphor for whether or not we can be stripped of what makes us insecure, leaving us naked and vulnerable.” So, shaving one’s pubes metaphorically equates to shedding decades of social conditioning that has resulted in epidemic proportions of women (and men) feeling ashamed of their bodies because they don’t measure up to an ever-changing – and always impossible – standard created by an industry that exists to make a profit by manipulating and exacerbating human insecurity and sexual shame? War is peace, I guess.

Martinez claims there is no such thing as a pervert. What the fuck are we supposed to do as a society when there is no such thing as a pervert? I’m pretty comfortable with labeling anyone who pursues non-consensual activity a pervert (e.g., rapists, pedophiles, etc.) In fact, I’m cool with labeling anyone who finds the dehumanization of a human being orgasmic a pervert, because that’s what the definition of sexual perversion is: a warping of human sexuality such that one finds something other than sex – such as power – more orgasmic than sex itself.

The term “pervert” has been used as a tool for shaming and dehumanizing sexual minorities, which is unacceptable, but it still has uses. The problem with people like Martinez is that they can only see two options with regard to sexuality: reactionary sexuality and sexual (lower-case L) libertarianism. Reactionaries deploy the concept of the pervert — and other forms of psychological and physical violence — in order to shame women, homosexuals, and anyone else who doesn’t follow the patriarchal sexual script into either getting on board or disappearing themselves from public view. Sexual libertarians have taken things too far in the other direction, beginning from the assumption that any criticism of any form of sexuality ought to be verboten. That would be a great thing, were it not for the fact that we still live in a straight white male supremacist society in which the range of sexual expression for those who are not straight white men is limited by what straight white men can deal with. It would be nice to see some sexual liberationists take things a step further by taking it as a given that people ought to be free to explore their sexuality, but questioning the bases of the social construction of sexual desires and how they might affect our social and political realities. With freedom comes responsibility and shit.

The general thrust of Martinez’s monologue is that she’s devoutly anti-shame, but there’s a decided “get with it” tone present throughout the discussion. She ham-fistedly insinuates that Atlantans are uptight because we don’t all act like rockabilly teenagers and aren’t keen to shout our most private fantasies over the first PBR. She assures us that there’s “nothing wrong with [our] likes and dislikes” but then tells men whose girlfriends “won’t give in” and submit to some “backdoor action” to find someone who will. Shaming people for wanting to do something consensual might not be cool, but shaming people who don’t want to do something – which amounts to pressure, which is a form of social and interpersonal coercion — is downright fucked.

Martinez asks men what kind of porn they watch and what their fetishes are, she writes, quite early in the getting-to-know-you phase. It’s the fear and hostility people feel with regard to sexuality that underlie many of the most destructive forces in human psychology, and thus creating space for frank and realistic sexual discussions is necessary to a healthy sexual existence and to a functioning society. But is the goal really to reduce every potential relationship to whether or not the two people involved like to have the same kinds of props in the room when they fuck? No one ought to be ashamed to engage in a sexual discussion, no matter what the content of that discussion, provided that the time for the conversation is appropriate. But if a dude were to go straight from asking me whether I’m into the Black Lips to asking me whether I do anal, I’d sneak out before he got the chance to stick his dick in my face unannounced. A woman broaching the subject of fetishes with a near stranger doesn’t carry the implicit threat that a man doing so does, but it’s still creepy. Boundaries matter, as any sex columnist who gives a shit about the concept of consent ought to know.

Still, let’s say the context isn’t creepy, and that Martinez is simply bemoaning the fact that men can’t seem to deal appropriately with a woman who discusses sex openly. She writes that, when she does so, men either “retreat into their good-boy shells,” or that they “assume [that her questions about sex mean] they get a straight pass to the bedroom.” Maybe these men aren’t uptight. Maybe the explanation is that the men she hangs out with — as most men do — suffer from a virgin/whore complex and have learned to deal with sexually open women by shunning them as “whores” or attempting to take advantage of them, deeming them good for nothing else. Where is the suggestion that men learn to view women as human beings rather than as caricatures who exist solely as extensions of men’s egos?

It’s fairly disheartening – though by no means surprising — that porn use is a given, and that all that’s left to discuss is which version of commodified sexuality one consumes, how degrading it is, and whether one partner can emotionally withstand knowing what forms of dehumanization the other finds orgasmic. We can simply no longer imagine a sexuality, apparently, that transcends scripts dictated to us by an industry that banks on fulfilling (and manipulating) male desires to the detriment of women’s humanity. But let’s not discuss that and what it might mean for our sex lives and our emotional development as human beings. That shit wouldn’t give anyone a boner.

This might be hard to believe, but one can tire of constant exposure to banal, unreflective, heteronormative/heterosexist discussions of fucking, and there are people in the world – Atlanta included — who might like to read and think about something a little more complex.

Martinez and Creative Loafing have both got it wrong. The problem with Atlanta is not that its people are uptight, but that they’ve somehow gotten the mistaken idea that being pro-porn, pro-microbrew, and pro-Rob Zombie is the opposite of uptight. Probably at least in part from Creative Loafing.

Please try a little harder. This is embarrassing.Who is qualified to speak for ALL women in the sex industry?

14 Sep

Pretty sure that’s no one, right? I’ve been getting a lot of shit lately from pro-porn people for supposedly speaking on behalf of all women in porn, but I wonder who appointed them the spokespeople for everyone involved. I might be guilty of making some blanket statements (though I avoid the words “all” and “none” when I can), but I try to be cognizant of the fact that there are women for whom my statements aren’t true. There are, I know, women who choose to do every kind of sex work that exists. I’d have to be a complete fool to be unaware of that fact, because I’m bombarded every day with messages from pro-sex work bloggers who want to tell the world how stoked they are about what they do.  But are these women more qualified to speak on behalf of ALL sex workers than anyone else? I don’t think so, and the fact that they do so and then give me shit for purportedly doing so is kind of funny.  (I won’t even discuss the men who call themselves “pro-porn activists,” because the paternalism and glaringly obvious self-interest that drip off of their protestations make it unnecessary.)

The thing is, I don’t claim to be qualified to speak on behalf of anybody. I forcefully state my opinions and recount the observations from which they derive, but I’m not anyone’s spokesperson. Asshole men speak for women. I’ve probably made some gross generalizations in the past, but I’d like anyone to find a quote in any of my posts in the last year that makes any kind of claim that I speak on behalf of anyone.

But what about people who don’t get to have their voices heard? Who is going to speak for them? There are an awful lot of women in the sex industry without the wherewithal (computers, Internet access, writing skills, self-confidence, leisure time, etc.) to speak on their own behalf and whose opinions might differ from those who have chosen not only to do sex work, but to argue on behalf of the industry for their own gain (and who do have computers, Internet access, writing skills, self-confidence, leisure time, etc.). Am I allowed to speak on behalf of the women who e-mail me and tell me they used to strip, do porn, etc. and tell you that there are at least a former few sex workers who think there’s something wrong with the sex industry? Or should I forward their e-mails to porn producers and pimps and let them decide?

We know what pro-porn and pro-sex industry people think. The world is inundated with the views of those who profit from the porn industry and the people who think that anti-woman propaganda and women’s sexual servitude are liberating and awesome. But what about those who disagree? What about the sex workers who, given the choice, wouldn’t be sex workers?

So, to those of you who tell me I have no place speaking for all sex workers (which I don’t disagree with at all), I won’t. But if you’re going to do so, how about we get a little more accurate portrayal?

Or is kicking the truth about sex workers’ lives not what this is really about? Is accusing me of “speaking for” women in porn just a derailing tactic designed to distract people from the point (that porn and the sex industry on balance are a detriment to women’s lives) by calling me a bad feminist or claiming that I’m dehumanizing women in porn just as much as the men who get off on seeing them degraded are? Lunchtime. A red herring burrito awaits me.

Bookmark and ShareDear “sex positive” “feminists” who think I’m a dick for having a problem with bukkake…

10 Jun

I often get comments from people telling me that my raising questions about acts such as men ejaculating on women’s faces, bukkake, ATM, etc. equate to “the patriarchy” trying to limit women’s sexual freedom. They claim that I’m “trying to use the master’s tools to tear down his house” by making arguments against women’s participation in porn and other activities that derive from and abet misogyny. I understand the reasoning behind that argument (though I don’t agree with it), which I explained here (short version: men have been telling us we can’t like sex for so long, and now that we’ve gotten some freedom to like it, how dare you – as a woman – come and try to tell us what we like isn’t OK). But I’d really like an answer to one serious question: how does participating in the production of misogynistic porn “tear down the master’s house”? How does participating in sex acts intended to degrade, whether you personally enjoy them or not, result in the destruction of male supremacy? I don’t know that all that many people claim that it does or will, but I’ve gotten the distinct impression from several commenters that they think that it’s a better route than trying to extirpate the systemic misogyny, both external and internalized, that allows the sex industry to exist and that creates a situation in which some women take enjoyment from acts that their male partners enjoy specifically because they’re degrading.

Duck season! Rabbit season!

5 AprPlease, somebody, come and defend Kink.com. I triple-dog dare you.

7 Feb

This post contains some fucked up shit. Please be warned and think carefully about whether you want to read it.

Everyone knows I went to peep some of the shit on Kink.com as a part of the research I did for my BDSM posts. I don’t make the claim that what goes on on their sites is representative of what goes on in the typical real-life BDSM relationship (I mean, fuck, how many people can afford to buy all that shit?), and I’m not really planning to discuss that website in relation to the wide world of BDSM, but I feel it necessary to discuss what I saw on that site.

I’m not easily thrown into a state of despair about the world unless I’ve been watching A Double Shot at Love or Bad Girls Club for over three hours (posts to come), but send me a story about human trafficking, about the abuse that women in war zones suffer, about the rampant torture of children by rape tourists in Southeast Asia, or about a submissive woman’s “journey” (brainwashing) and I’m likely to have to go lie down and think about moving to Mars for a few hours. And, of course, looking at images of women being tortured had the same effect, differing only in that it has yet to abate and it’s been over a month.

For those of you lucky enough to have never seen anything those piles of shit at Kink.com have put out, I’ll just characterize it as torture mixed with the most degrading sex acts possible. The variety of cruel and bizarre devices, contraptions, machines, and objects that the producers have accumulated for use on the women featured on the site is terrifyingly mind-boggling, and the  entire vibe more closely approximates the contents of a nightmare than anything I’ve ever seen while awake: the logos for the site are designed to look like titles for a horror movie; the page backgrounds are dominated by black, gray, and brown to the extent that they remind one of that stupid Tool video; and the videos are nearly all taped in the site’s building at the Armory, a pretty dungeonesque joint by the looks of it. The text describing each of the sites is fucking petrifying. An example from the Device Bondage site:

Device Bondage is a BDSM sex Website with the best porn around. Our naked women in BDSM play are whipped, tied up, chained, fucked, and humiliated. Amazing things that happen on our site include kinky sex with tit torture, steel bondage, hard nipples, nipple clamps, rope bondage, girls being caned, torture sex [What in the FUCK is "torture sex"? ], girls being spanked, leather bondage, and other BDSM play.

Girls are also pulled in and out of cages, their tongues clamped, their bodies pinned, and their arms and legs strapped. We also have contraptions used in countries such as China for torture. Our girls like to be tied up with leather belts and harnesses, spanked hard, punished, and humiliated. When the girls are done spreading wide for their bondage sex shoot, they have red asses, intense pleasure, and big smiles.

There’s footage and photos of naked women locked in cages too small for rabbits, of broken skin and blood, of women being waterboarded and subjected to other near-drowning tortures, of naked women being humiliated and tortured in public. Machines, metal, wood, electrodes, hooks, needles, hoods, and every other possible thing some sick motherfucker could come up with to use to torture a woman are in evidence on one or more of Kink.com’s sites.

Each of the galleries that the sites use to sell their videos features a shot or two of the woman’s face looking absolutely terror-stricken. And it’s those photos that bother me the most. I know why they’re there; the people who pay money to watch the shit on these sites need to see that the woman who they’re watching get tortured is hurting and is scared because she doesn’t know what is going to happen to her next.

The fact that the site owners always include a shot of the woman after the shoot looking happy doesn’t matter. The men who go to these sites aren’t there to revel in women’s pleasure, they’re there to see women tortured. They’re not watching public humiliation videos to fantasize about iconoclasm and bucking societal norms, they’re there to get boners thinking about degrading and humiliating human beings. These sites aren’t about “exploring our dark sides,” they’re about giving free reign to the sickest of human desires, desires that are inculcated by a sexually repressed and guilt-ridden society that has yet to figure out how to deal with the detritus of religious dogma and has thus intertwined fear and hatred with sex to create the misogynistic shit heap we now live in. This shit ain’t revolutionary, it’s so fucking obvious and stupid that I’d  laugh if it didn’t look so much like RAPE. If exploring your “dark side” entails wanking to women being tortured, it might be best to leave it unexplored. Or kill yourself.

You know what I don’t want to do? Live in a world where people jerk off to women being subjected to “contraptions used in countries such as China for torture.” Know what else I don’t want to do? Listen to women (or men) tell me that the women who participate in the creation of these videos for these disgusting motherfuckers to jerk off to do so because the shit feels “amazing.” Nor do I want to hear how subversive the people who are into this shit are because they “explore the dark side.” First off, what person over the age of sixteen talks about “exploring the dark side”? Seriously. And why does “exploring the dark side” have to be such an unimaginative, tired, boring, intellectually insulting, misogynistic cliche?

But besides the ridiculous aspect of someone fancying themselves a revolutionary because they get boners from seeing women hurt or get orgasms from being hurt when we live in a society that encourages that shit like UFC encourages tribal tattoos, it’s pretty goddamned obscene. The way I see it, if you think you’re punk for getting off on reenacting the kinds of abuses that real women and children in this world suffer on a daily basis (and thus mocking their suffering), you can go fuck yourself.

Did I mention that Howard Stern is a fan of Kink.com? The end.

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BDSM (the sexual equivalent of being into Renaissance faires) Part 4: Bullshit Posturing

1 Feb

Sorry for the delay. I just forgot to finish this series and got carried away with telling everyone what gutterballs Dov Charney and Ralphie May are. Polly Styrene, who is a badass, has got a post up that inspired me to get back on task, so here we go.

Some qualifications (radfems can skip this paragraph): This post will revolve around my interpretation of M/f BDSM and nothing else, and I’m not going to suffer any relativistic bullshit about whether my interpretation is more or less “valid” than anyone else’s. I obviously think I’m right or I’d be out asking other people what they think rather than telling them what I think, and I admit up front that I think people ought to agree with me.  I know there are readers whose experiences may not have been as fucked up as some of the things I’m about to describe (though many of them may very well have been more so), but I’m here to discuss the general nature of a vast phenomenon, not get lost in the minutiae of every single individual’s private experiences. I’m going to say this again: I’m not discussing anything in this post but men dominating women. I’m going to do that because a large proportion of BDSM involves a man dominating a woman, and because that dynamic warrants separate discussion because it involves the eroticization of an oppressed group’s submission.  I’m not approving any comments on this post about anything else. You’ll have to wait for a later installment if you want to talk about women dominating men or lesbian and gay BDSM. Seriously. That said, I welcome argument and would like to have a discussion here, though it must be a civil one.

When considering sexual matters and their relationship to the general misogyny that pervades our culture, I generally pretend I’m a justice in the Supreme Court of Gender Issues and apply the ol’ strict scrutiny standard (albeit my own modified version of it). Sex, as it has been used throughout history as a tool of domination and as it is the locus of the negotiation of gender roles and a large majority of our social behaviors, requires close analysis. If I’m going to give a sexual practice a free pass and the Nine Deuce seal of approval, it’s got to meet three criteria:

  1. First, I ask myself whether women are ever hurt as a result of the practice under consideration. If the answer is yes, the practice has not earned immunity from examination and analysis.
  2. Second, I ask myself whether those who engage in the practice ever do so out of a hatred of women. If so, it’s up for discussion and judgment (a nasty word for those with po-mo leanings, I know, but a necessary one nonetheless).
  3. Finally, I have to ask myself whether the practice would occur in a society that wasn’t characterized by male supremacy and the hatred of women, both of which tend to manifest as the mixture of sex and power. I’ve got a really impressive imagination (I invented unicorns), so if I can’t imagine a sex act having the power to excite in a post-patriarchal world, I get a little dubious.

If a sex act fails to meet any of these three criteria, you can expect that I’ll be questioning the fuck out of it, and BDSM really blows it on all three. I know what you’re going to say: mainstream “vanilla” (a term I’ll not be using again because it’s insulting, hackneyed, and really not clever) sex doesn’t pass Deuce’s strict scrutiny standard. Fuckin’ A right it doesn’t, but I’ve never made the claim that it does. Many of those who responded to my previous posts in the series created that false dichotomy and pretended that I was out campaigning for the kind of sex we see in the average Michael Douglas movie, but I think we all know that’s bullshit. BDSM, just like mainstream sex that seems to mirror porn more and more every day, won’t be escaping my jaundiced eye just because a few people tell me they do it “right.” There’s too much ambiguity involved in BDSM with regard to my criteria for that (as is the case with pretty much all sex acts — in a misogynistic society, there may not even be such a thing as a sex act that’s free of the influence of patriarchy, though that thought makes me want to start an emo band). But the fact that I urge scrutiny doesn’t mean I’m here yelling, “Real feminists don’t engage in BDSM!” It does mean we all need to think about what our desires and choices mean to us as individuals and in relation to other women. If one does so and still decides BDSM is where it’s at, whatever, but it needs to be discussed in an open forum where those who are working things out for themselves can get access to the experiences and opinions of others and where issues can be raised that will help us all figure out how to try to move toward a future in which sex isn’t used as a tool of oppression.

A few things stood out in the responses I received to my little personal ad, the first being that a lot of the men who responded told me they were feminists themselves, and that they didn’t think there was anything incompatible about D/s relationships and feminism (they’re obviously not advanced feminist theorists). They wanted to make sure I knew that their idea of an ideal BDSM relationship was one in which the power differential in the bedroom stayed there. Mmm hmm. Many of them, because the fake woman in the ad was new to BDSM, explained the concept of the safe word and warned the poster to be wary of the men who responded because “there are a lot of sickos out there who just want to hurt women.”  No shit.

I’ve heard plenty from commenters and from the many, many articles I’ve read on this or that BDSM-related website about the proper way to do BDSM, about the importance of ensuring that one’s BDSM activities are always “safe, sane, and consensual.” I appreciate the fact that the thoughtful people of the BDSM scene are concerned with protecting the physical and mental health of the people who engage in practices that have the potential to get out of hand if not approached in such a manner, I really do. But I’ve got to ask whether the fact that such discussions are necessary ought not to be a red flag. What of those who don’t follow the rules, who get fucked up before engaging in emotionally volatile and physically hazardous activities, who don’t ensure consent before they get into whatever they’re going to get into? What of the women who engage in BDSM because they’ve got emotional problems, and what of the men who seek out BDSM relationships as a venue to exercise their hatred on women’s bodies? How many people don’t follow the guidelines more responsible BDSM practitioners have devised? And how do other members of the BDSM community deal with those who don’t adhere to the safe, sane, and consensual line?

How does a woman who has given her consent to one act withdraw it, especially while restrained, in the event that a safe word is ignored? And what, exactly, does consent mean in such a context? There is a pretty large measure of psychological ambiguity involved in BDSM, and I’m not sure that the idea of consent is as clear as people make it out to be. As is the case with any “scene,” there is unvocalized pressure on the members of that scene to be more authentic, more down, more hard core than others. BDSM is often practiced in semi-public contexts in which the sub might feel pressure to go farther than she’s ready to, and in private there’s always the pressure to perform in a way that will excite one’s partner that infuses every sexual encounter. And almost every dude who responded to my fake personal ad made mention of pushing the sub’s limits, a problematic idea if one really wants to emphasize consent. If the BDSM community is such a shining beacon of respect for the concept of consent, then why did so many of the men who responded to my ad make sure to let me know they weren’t interested in people who try to “top from the bottom” and wanted “true submissives” ? That doesn’t sound like the kind of thing that a dude who has any respect for his partners’ emotional safety (much less free will and human agency, the key elements without which a discussion of consent cannot even occur) would say.

And what about the legality of consent as it is conceived of in BDSM? What does a woman who has been raped in the course of a BDSM encounter do to prove she did not consent to an act (remember, as our current legal system operates on the “innocent until proven guilty” model, that women are required to prove that they broke a state of — as the law conceives of it — constant consent in order for a rapist to be punished)?

How safe and sane is BDSM? Those are some pretty slippery concepts, safety and sanity. There are plenty of people who would question the idea that there’s anything safe or sane about BDSM, myself included. I conceive of a safe and sane sex act as one that does not pose the risk of bodily or emotional harm for the participants. The mixture of sex and violence and the eroticization of women’s submission to male domination do not fall into the “sane” or “safe” columns for me because I don’t believe either would occur if we didn’t live in an insanely misogynistic society that is detrimental to our emotional health. But let’s say my opinion doesn’t matter (ha!). Who decides what’s safe and sane in the world of BDSM? No one, apparently, because every time I’ve read or heard a discussion among people involved in BDSM about some of the more extreme practices, I get the distinct impression that “to each his own” has gotten wildly out of hand and that there is a marked unwillingness to condemn anything but the most egregious of abusive behaviors (and I really mean egregious, as in permanent bodily harm or worse).

But what does all this talk of separating D/s in the bedroom from real life, of taking “safe, sane, and consensual” as one’s creed, of female subs being empowered by the emphasis on consent really mean? Methinks the Sisters of Mercy fans doth protest too much, that someone is pissing on my leg and telling me it’s raining. I read 400+ e-mails from men interested in a young woman curious about submission, I looked at a shit-ton of BDSM porn, I went to a BDSM club, I read tens of thousands of words on BDSM-related websites, and I didn’t feel very safe or sane when I got done, nor did I feel like participating in the shit I’d seen or read about would make me feel particularly empowered.

I used to live in San Francisco. There is a fucking awesome building in the Mission called the Armory that I loved nosing around at whenever I found myself in the neighborhood. It sat basically unoccupied for many years until Kink.com bought it in 2006, an event that seriously bummed my party out. I’d always thought of the place as an ideal art space, or maybe a music venue (possibly both), and when I heard that they’d be filming BDSM porn there I about fell off of my chair. I had no fucking idea, dude. Like I said, before I posted that ad, went to the BDSM club, looked at these sites, and read up on BDSM in more than a half-assed way, I had kind of a silly conception of BDSM, so when I went to the site I nearly had a heart attack. I know that porn is not the same thing as real life, but porn is fantasy fuel, and I’m pretty sure that I don’t EVER want to run across a Kink.com fan in a dark alley.

Don’t read the next paragraph if you’re squeamish about descriptions of women being abused.

Almost all of the videos on the Hogtied site (a branch of Kink.com billed as the “sensual” bondage site) feature shibari, that Japanese rope bondage shit that’s absolutely terrifying to see. Almost every photo I’ve seen that involved shibari featured a woman whose breasts were so constricted by ropes that they looked as if they’d pop, and every single video I saw on Hogtied featured a woman suspended by ropes, gagged, and clearly in heinous pain, followed by a short clip of the woman in the video talking about how cool the experience was. Their other sites feature bound women with electrodes hooked up to their genitalia, a site where women are fucked by terrifying machines, a site called Device Bondage in which women are bound with every manner of nightmarish machinery, and The Training of O, a site that features women undergoing “slave training” that includes such weird shit that I don’t even know where to begin. Let’s just say that there were suction devices, dildos, blood, and hooks everywhere. The looks on the women’s faces in the photos that the sites use to promote the videos that they sell can best be described as anguished. The logos for all of the sites looked like the main titles for horror movies, especially the Device Bondage site, which included a terrified-looking woman’s face with a gag in her mouth along with that shitty grainy font overlay that every horror movie producer seems to love. What a disturbing combination, sex and horror. Visually confronting the fact that men are looking for images of women who are clearly in pain to wank to really scared the piss out of me.

Out of fourteen sites Kink.com puts out, three feature men as submissives. Eleven focus solely on women submitting to various forms of abuse (their term, not mine). I’ll leave the interpretation of that ratio up to you (as long as you don’t give me some evolutionary psychology bullshit about men being more visually stimulated than women). Really, ask yourself, what do you think it means that M/f relationships seem to dominate the BDSM world and that straight BDSM porn is almost entirely comprised of images of female submissives? It’s OK, make the comparison to mainstream porn. It only proves my point.

I know that all of the sites that Kink.com operates make a big show out of how much the actresses supposedly enjoy what’s being done to them, but that’s almost more worrisome than had they not done so, because it supports the idea that women can’t get enough of being sexually dominated and abused. The message in these videos, basically, is, “It’s OK if you get off on hurting women, because they’re sluts for pain!”

What in Billy Zabka’s name would make a woman want to submit to such treatment, and how in the fuck could anyone get to the point that they derive sexual enjoyment from severe pain? No one ever seems to want to get anywhere near that question, because it’s nearly impossible to provide an answer for it that doesn’t sound silly if compared to the completely reasonable suggestion that women who are into submission are into it because our culture eroticizes male domination and female submission. Honestly, I can’t really think of many forms of the expression of human sexuality in our fucked up culture that don’t include an element of that, but BDSM is probably the clearest distillation of such a dynamic, and protestations to the contrary just seem absurd to me. And the same goes for male doms — the idea that any convoluted explanation for why a man enjoys hurting a woman has even a third as much explanatory power as the simple fact that men are raised in this culture to conceive of sex and power as one and the same is hilarious. The paternalism, arrogance, and unalloyed sadism evidenced in the ads I read both by men looking for subs and in response to my ad confirm what I saw in that heinous fucking porn and what I’ve read and seen elsewhere.

So, should women who are into submission be ashamed of themselves? I don’t think so. It’s shocking to me that there are any women in this warped society who aren’t. But I would like to ask submissive women who read this if they think that what I’ve postulated is far off from the truth. I don’t think it’s healthy to mix sex and violence, and I think submitting to the will of other people is detrimental to our mental health and human development. I’m certainly not going to blame submissive women for sexual inequality or for the continuation of patriarchy because that’s completely ridiculous. Men are to blame for that because they’re the ones who benefit from it. So should men who are into domination be ashamed of themselves? That’s a harder question. Men, being that they’re the ones with the privilege and power in this society, bear more responsibility for the dominance and submission dynamic that pollutes human sexuality and romantic relationships. Human sexuality is a complicated matter, as are the hierarchical structure of human interactions and the way that structure interacts with our individual emotions and desires.

But BDSM, as it intermingles sex with power and violence, is highly suspect for a feminist like me. All of the claims about women’s sexual agency and the focus on consent within BDSM sound awfully weak in the face of the reality of the misogyny that pervades our culture and the very real sexual and emotional abuses that women face every day. I’ve heard the claims that by playing with gendered power dynamics, people who practice BDSM are subverting the gender hierarchy, but I find that a little difficult to believe when so much of what I’ve seen just looks like garden variety sexual abuse at a Halloween party. I find it hard to believe that a sexual practice that fetishizes women’s pain and submission is so different from mainstream misogyny, that I ought to think M/f BDSM is a step forward for feminism because the women who participate in it like it. Orgasms don’t necessarily equal progress.

Enough of this shit. I’m going to bed.

To be continued…

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BDSM (the sexual equivalent of being into Renaissance faires) Part 3: Some of the Data

29 Nov

The respondents to the personal ad I mentioned in the first post fell into three rough categories, which overlap and share some common features (don’t read these bullet points if you’re upset by the kinds of shit these cretins fantasize about, which would be completely understandable):

  • The dudes in the first group were the least overtly terrifying of the bunch, but they were creepy and offensive in their own way. Most of them wrote what could best be described as novellas and used the word “art” in their comical and terribly written blatherings about their BDSM “philosophies.” Their descriptions of their sexual fantasies were like letters to Penthouse Forum written by dudes who wear eyeliner, with a lot of “trembling,” “aching,” and “quivering” in between the generous helpings of “pussy” and “cock.” They all described the mental and physical sensations they would cause our poster to experience down to the last detail with the kind of confidence that only men who are terrible in bed possess. Nearly all of them explained that their ultimate purpose was to help their submissives grow as human beings and that they understood that feminism had caused emotional conflicts for women who felt the “natural” “feminine” urge to submit to a (much older and wiser, naturally) man/dad/teacher (for a bunch of purportedly countercultural motherfuckers, these guys sounded an awful lot like Promise Keepers). Many of them addressed our poster as “little one.” Honestly, I thought I was reading the lyrics to a George Michael song half the time. Retch is right. These guys may have even fooled themselves into believing that their particular sexual fetishes are the kinds of things that women “crave deep within their souls,” but they’re kidding themselves with all their talk of transgression.
  • Then there were the dudes who didn’t bother to pretend there was any kind of philosophical basis for their desire to dominate and humiliate (their words, not mine) women. Their responses were all detailed descriptions of the kinds of sex acts they’d be carrying out on her, with nary a question about what she might fancy. They got very specific about the kinds of tools they were bringing to the table (literally and figuratively) and exactly how they would restrain our poster so they could “rape” her “asshole” and whip her “tits” and “cunt” with whatever instrument their shockingly uncreative minds could come up with (usually a belt). They too described the sensations this would cause for the poster, because they were just positive that they could make her “cum over and over” by hitting her and calling her a “filthy little slut,” a “cum slut,” or a “little whore.” These dudes made no attempt to disguise the fact that they get off on humiliating and hurting women, though they did dress that up a little with candle wax, leather, and various bizarre implements. (A lot of them were really into shibari, a — surprise! — Japanese bondage technique involving rope. Seriously, fuck Japan.)
  • The third group was by far the most frightening. They read the word “submissive” and creamed their shorts at the idea that there was a woman out there who’d let them act out Max Hardcore vignettes on her. None of them had anything to say about the “art” of BDSM or the sensations our poster would experience, but rather just told her which hole they’d like to rape her in (guess which one came in at number one) before they ejaculated on her face. Her wishes did come up a few times, always in the form of the insatiable desire to lick semen up after being raped. That’s about all I can say about that lest I break something or kill myself.

I told you that shit was gnarly. Sorry.

I suppose a lot of people will claim these last guys aren’t a part of the BDSM scene, and that’s true, but what’s the difference between them and the guys in group two? That they’re less fruity about their rape fantasies? That they don’t pretend to be a part of some revolutionary sexual counterculture movement? Please. All of these dudes share one thing in common: they derive sexual pleasure from dominating and humiliating (and in many cases hurting) women, and they’re all foaming at the mouth at the idea that there are women who will eagerly submit to the worst humiliations they can come up with. That they want the woman to be into it too doesn’t make them cool guys, it just means they don’t want to have to feel guilty. These motherfuckers at worst hate women and consider them to be subhumans, and at best think of women as mental children that they want to fuck in between teaching them life lessons.

The serious analysis is still to come (and I’ve got some more results of my research to report), but I’m tired if this shit for tonight.

To be continued…

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tagFetishAshley's Pees Where She Wants Ch. 08

Ashley's Pees Where She Wants Ch. 08

Ashley is a 19 year old high school student, one of the last in their school's grade 13 program which is now ending. She found a tablet she was able to translate and now she has the ability to control minds. She has used this power to fill her growing pee fetish she discovered one evening when she pissed into her 18 year old sister's favorite teddy bear.

After heading home with her new boyfriend/sex toy Ashley had some sexy fun trying out a few ideas with him. They finished with him filling her up with his cum and she kept it within her while manipulating her clit until it protruded far from her body; heading back out to Meghan's house for a sexy new idea of hers.

As Ashley approached Meghan's house she saw Chris, the boy whose pants Meghan pissed over, coming out of the house. Chris spotted Ashley heading towards the house and approached her.

"Meghan told me about what you did to her clothes last month. I'm not letting you in there to do something like that again."

Ashley just smiled at him and said "Really, you won't let me? So you're going to just stand in my way all day? I can walk into that house whenever I want to."

"You can just kiss my ass."

"No, you kiss my ass." Ashley snapped back. Her powers kicked in and surprised even her when he involuntarily knelt in front of her. "Well no reason to waste this opportunity" she thought to herself as she turned her back to him. She grabbed the edges of her skirt and lifted the back revealing her bare butt to Chris while keeping her front covered.

He moved in close and planted four kisses onto Ashley's pretty feminine rear, two on each of her soft round cheeks. Ashley giggled at him "No, no silly butt boy, I didn't mean such an innocent peck on the cheek. I want you to be much more; intimate than that." She grabbed her butt cheeks and spread them apart in front of him. "You'll have to be more romantic than that: and don't forget to use your tongue, like a proper gentleman."

Ashley wished she could see the look on his face as he went in for another kiss. She felt his lips plant themselves around her hole seconds before she felt his tongue poking at its centre. Ashley had never actually considered trying anal sex before or even putting anything in there so her curiosity got the better of her and she relaxed herself as much as she could to try and allow him entry. The next moment her sphincter opened and his tongue passed into her body.

She hadn't felt anything quite like it. It was similar to having a tongue in her vagina but at the same time different. She moaned a little at the tongue's intrusion until finally the kiss ended and he withdrew from her. She almost ordered him to continue when she saw some people about to turn a corner down the road and she remembered she had business with Meghan anyway.

Dropping her skirt back down she addressed Chris. "Now just run along home and remember this lesson on how to properly please a lady."

"Meghan, guess who's here to see you again." Ashley called into the house. Chris had left the door unlocked when he went out so she was able to just walk right in.

Meghan was shocked to hear not Chris or her mother's voice but that of Ashley coming up the stairs to her bedroom. "What are you doing back here?" She asked nervously, knowing that she cannot do anything to stop her from her last encounter.

Ashley pushed open the door to Meghan's room to see her sitting at her desk. "We're going to have some fun. You see, since I was the one who set up your current relationship I figured you owe me one. Tell me have you ever given Chris a blow job?" Meghan turned her head to look away from Ashley and avoid eye contact embarrassed at being asked such a personal question but nodded in response regardless.

"That's excellent Meghan; I was hoping you would have experience." She walked over to the char and stepped up onto it putting one foot on each side of Meghan. This brought her crotch up to Meghan's eye level. "I have always wondered what it was like for a guy to get a blowjob."

"What are you talking..." Meghan began to say. She didn't bother to finish her question though because before she could finish Ashley had lifted her skirt up and revealed the new form her clit had taken. "Wait you're a; no this; you didn't have this before? I saw it last time, your ah, girl, part didn't look like this before."

"You mean my pussy? You're right; my clit wasn't nearly this big but I have some new abilities now and I want to try them out on you now." Ashley bent her legs a bit and pushed her hips forward; her penis shaped clit coming into contact with Meghan's lips.

Meghan knew it was only a matter of time before she was given the command to pleasure Ashley with those lips. She decided it would be best if she did so voluntarily so she could remain under her own control and possibly find a chance to try to escape her situation. She allowed the appendage to part her lips as she pressed her head forward toward the other girl's crotch.

Ashley was a little surprised at Meghan's initiative but enjoyed the warm sensations of entering her mouth. Meghan was using what she learned with Chris teasing the head with her tongue, sucking her cheeks in to create friction, and bobbing her head to a steady rhythm. Some of Ashley's juices started running down her clit to be tasted by the sucking girl, her first time tasting the juices of another girl; or at least the first time tasting juices that aren't mixed in with her pee.

It occurred to Meghan that if she could finish the job Ashley might leave contented and she could get on with her homework. She reached behind Ashley grabbing her soft butt she pulled her deeper into her mouth to the point of reaching the back of her mouth and taking the head into her throat.

Ashley was feeling really good and was starting to understand why guys wanted this so much. Even though it seemed selfish to ask for such one sided stimulation it was an incredible sensation. Ashley wanted to get the full experience of this and decided that now was the time to give Meghan that gift she got earlier from Kevin.

She slowly moved her hands into position behind Meghan's head and pressed lightly inward each time Meghan's head moved forward. Ashley's orgasm was beginning to build as she prepared the tube within her clit. She connected it internally to the reserve of cum she held within her and linked it with the muscles that spasm during a girl's orgasm to make her pussy clamp down on a guy's dick.

"Meghan; you are; quite good; at this!" Ashley moaned. "Now; it's time; for your; reward!"

"Whmph?" Meghan mumbled over Ashley's engorged clit. She was glad it looked like it was coming to an end; but she wasn't blowing a guy. Girl's bodies don't produce semen so she wasn't going to get a mouthful the way she did with Chris; was she?

The extra stimulation from Meghan's mumble drove Ashley over the edge. She held Meghan's head near her crotch; deep enough she was in her mouth but shallow enough she wasn't in her throat. Her clit began to come to life; twitching and throbbing in the enclosing mouth. Meghan could feel the pulsing on her tongue and knew she would get her answer soon enough.

It took a few pulses and Meghan was just beginning to think she might have been in the clear when the first spurt of cum raced through Ashley's tube and splattered against the roof of her mouth. Meghan couldn't believe it but it tasted just like a guy's cum. "How could this come out of a girl?" she wondered as her mouth was filled with the sticky substance.

Ashley could feel internally that she had released about half of the reserve of semen when she finally stopped spurting. She withdrew from Meghan's mouth watching her lips slide along its length.

Meghan without even thinking about it reached over to grab a tissue. "Hold it!" Commanded Ashley. Meghan could not move any closer to the tissues and already knew this wasn't going where she would like. "I should have known you would be a spitter Meghan. Don't expect that to be the case this time. I want the whole experience, so you're just going to have to swallow that for me."

Meghan was always a fairly reserved girl. She was raised to think that good girls don't do certain things. She thought you would have to be a total slut to swallow that stuff. Now here she was unable to help it as her will was corrupted and her mouth closed sealing what was given to her by Ashley. Her throat contracted and Ashley sighed in contentment as the small gulp of Meghan swallowing the jizz that she just deposited into her mouth became audible. Meghan would never have considered swallowing cum before but she couldn't help but somewhat enjoy the feeling of the warm gooey liquid sliding down her throat.

Ashley stepped down from the chair, her skirt falling into place. Meghan regained her composure; straightening her hair; wiping a drop of cum off of her lip. Ashley reached out and took Meghan's hand in hers bringing it to her own mouth. She sensually licked up the drop of cum as Meghan watched in fascination. Here was a girl who had absolute control over her every action; she could either fight it in futility or go along with it and at least try to enjoy what was being done to her.

"Well that was certainly fun Meghan."

"It was definitely different."

It was only now that Ashley looked down and noticed what Meghan was wearing. It was a skirt which wasn't unusual for Meghan; but it looked shorter than she usually wore. "Hey Meghan, stand up for me will you? I want to get a better look at that skirt."

Meghan got up and stood between Ashley and the chair. Sure enough the skirt hem fell a few inches above the knee. Not as short as the skirt she had her mother re-hem but still showing a lot more of her long legs than what Ashley was used to seeing her wear.

Ashley asked Meghan to turn around and admired the look of this other girl, her well developed boobs, her long legs, her feminine hips... "Wait; what am I doing." She thought to herself. "I'm not into girls; am I?" She reflected on her feelings and wasn't sure whether it was because she had adopted a portion of masculine physiology, or the hormones in the semen she was containing within herself, or if she had always had these feelings and never noticed them before; but here she was looking at the sexy features of Meghan Peters and without a single doubt being quite turned on by the site.

She decided to make Meghan suck her off because she thought she would be better than a guy and she still wanted to toy with her; rather than because she thought she was attracted to her; but she was definitely being very attracted right now and she didn't care why.

She just had to have this girl in front of her. It was no longer about getting back at her for Chris; she had her own boyfriend now after all; but she wanted so bad to plunge deep into this girl that she would do anything to make it work. Ashley put her hands lightly on Meghan's back and playfully pushed her onto the bed. Meghan looked back at her in surprise to see her re-lifting the front of her skirt to reveal her still enlarged clit. Ashley then took the edge of Meghan's skirt and lifted it up dropping it onto her back. She put her hands on her butt marveling at how pretty it seemed to her now.

"Meghan, I'm going to have some fun now and this isn't about toying with you so I'm going to help you out." She decided that the best way to do this would be to implant a suggestion into Meghan's mind and she considered her wording well before continuing. "You are going to enjoy everything I do to you, everything I do with you, and everything I have you do to me. Anything you have against me will not matter. Any sexual hang-ups you have about doing this with a girl will not hold you back from enjoying what we are about to do. Your perceptions and mindset will change if need be to make it possible to enjoy everything that happens here until the time I leave your house.

Ashley was feeling like a full on hypnotist; giving out detailed instructions while Meghan stared at her blankly taking it all in. Ashley snuck a finger under the waistband on each side of Meghan's underwear and pulled them down to just above her knees. She looked at the other girl's pussy intently. She didn't really get a good look at it the last time she was here but then again she wasn't interested at that time.

Her curiosity was getting the better of her and she just had to know what it tasted like so she moved her face in close behind Meghan and tentatively stuck her tongue out toward the her exposed pussy. Finally making contact her tongue ran the length first up then down her lower lips; tasting another girl for the first time. She took her tongue, placed it up to her vagina, and pushed it in. First she put it as deep as she could, then she even extended its length to get a little deeper still. She couldn't believe what she was doing and knew she never would have guessed that she would be here with her tongue inside another girl up until this moment.

Meghan; under the influence of the suggestion placed upon her; began to sigh lightly at this attention. She gave the girl's lips one last sucking kiss as she pulled her face away. There would be more opportunities for that in the future but right now she had to get inside this girl. Ashley quickly unbuttoned her blouse and bra throwing them to the floor. Then she climbed up over her on the bed, her boobs dragging lightly across her back, until she was looking down at the back of her head.

Meghan had turned her head to the side to see behind her and Ashley twisted to lean on one arm so she could look her in the face for a moment. Meghan looked into Ashley's eyes for the first time with a look of lust that mirrored Ashley's own at that moment. Simultaneously the two moved in for a kiss tasting each other's mouths and feeling their soft lips on each other's.

Ashley moved her hips forward and her clit made contact with Meghan's rear. She had to break away to see what she was doing moving up onto her knees between the long and pretty legs around her on the bed. She placed herself touching the sweet opening that had so recently held her tongue and pushed her hips forward once again. Her clit entered the girl feeling the textured insides and giving an incredible sensation to Ashley who couldn't help but cry out in pleasure. She lowered back down so her boobs were touching Meghan's back again and crawled up until her pussy lips kissed those of the girl beneath her.

At first she tried sliding up and down along Meghan's body but it seemed a bit awkward from that angle so she raised herself back up on her knees and put one foot on the floor. This gave her a better angle and more room to move in and out of her. After a couple minutes of thrusting both girls had built up to the point of moaning quite loudly. The sound of two women in the throes of passion sounded almost like an echo to Ashley who was used to the other person having a deeper voice than her.

Soon a new idea came to Ashley and she pulled out of Meghan to flip her over onto her back to get into a missionary position. Re-entering her this way allowed their nipples to rub up against each other in passing adding even more stimulation to the awesomely erotic scene. They began kissing once more and Ashley was pleasantly surprised by the feeling of hands caressing her butt as Meghan began to really get into this.

Their orgasms began approaching and Ashley sped up her pace. Meghan began to cum first her eyes squinted and her mouth open wide in a loud moan. Ashley saw this as an opportunity and as she reached orgasm she pulled out of the girl and walked on her knees until she was over her chest aiming at the sweet tongue reverberating in ecstasy. Once more semen shot from the tip of her clit splashing right along Meghan's tongue coating it with goo. Meghan continuing to be influenced by the mental suggestion was now turned on by this and enjoyed the taste. She held her mouth open until the spurting stopped and even sucked out the last drops.

She was just about to close her mouth to swallow this new load voluntarily when she saw Ashley hurrying into place; bringing her face closer. Ashley quickly closed in for another kiss immediately delving her tongue into the other girl's mouth to share Kevin's cum. The two of them dragged their tongues across each other's to spread it around; lost in this moment of extreme sexuality.

As it was wearing off Ashley was sucking the jism from Meghan's tongue and started enacting another hot idea of hers; one she had thought of earlier. She continued to suck on the tongue in the receptive mouth below hers and began to channel her power into it. Meghan didn't realize at first but when Ashley began to raise her head it was obvious something had happened to her tongue.

It didn't feel bad to her but as Ashley raised her head she could see her tongue was stiffening and protruding from her mouth; and even more so it was still growing. Ashley continued to raise her head revealing more and more tongue as it magically expanded. By the time she finally popped her lips off the tip of the tongue it looked to be protruding about 20 cm (oven 7 and a half inches) from her mouth. It was so stiff she couldn't put it back into her mouth.

Ashley smiled down at Meghan admiring her handiwork. She kissed the tongue once before walking back up on her knees until she was straddling Meghan's face, her long stiff tongue directly below her pussy. "I think it's time you got a good taste of my pussy now Meghan." Lowering herself she allowed the stiffened tongue to part her pussy lips and enter her sinking down until her lower lips were in contact with Meghan's "upper" lips.

She bounced up and down on the tongue and Meghan could taste the juices with her tongue even in this state. It was such an unusual situation for Meghan but she found it quite hot to be used this way, feeling and tasting a girl on her tongue planted so impossibly deep inside where only a penis would ordinarily reach.

What Meghan didn't know was that this was only a prelude and Ashley made the next move on her plan by focusing in on her pussy. Her juices began to thicken and soon Meghan's tongue was coated in the slick substance sliding easily into Ashley's wet pussy.

"You can thank Chris for what is about to happen. He gave me the idea when I saw him leaving your house. You are going to lie back and let me do this. Chris used his tongue on me in a way that was new for me and right now: I'm feeling like a little anal."

Meghan thought to herself "What?" Unsure of what was about to happen next until it dawned on her where this was going. "Does she want me to... NO!"

Ashley lifted herself up until Meghan's tongue was just touching her. She shifted her butt forward; dragging the tongue across her perineum until the tip was touching the other entrance down there. Ashley grabbed her own butt cheeks and spread them for a few seconds while relaxing her sphincter which caused it to open up sucking in some air as it did so. With the stiffened and now quite slick tongue of Meghan Peters in place Ashley eased herself back down once more.

Meghan's eyes went wide in mild panic as Ashley's anus began to accept her tongue into it. "No, no, no! It might be kind of hot to rim someone even but not like this; not this deep!" Her 7+ inch tongue was taken deeper and deeper; the slick coating allowing it to pass with ease just as Ashley had planned.

Meghan hoped that Ashley would stop this and go back to her front again, but Ashley's only reaction was a few enthusiastic moans indicating to Meghan that there was no chance she wouldn't go through with this. This was such an unusual and sexy feeling for Ashley and she was going to enjoy it as much as she could. Meghan braced herself for the unpleasant taste she expected to encounter shortly.

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