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Amy Schumer can't help but gush about her man!

The comedienne covers the July issue of Vogue magazine and opens up about her life, touching on her relationship with Chicago furniture designer Ben Hanisch, who she started dating in January.

"We're in love," she gushed. "And we're still in total honeymoon phase. It's a real relationship. Who knows what will happen, but we're real good right now."

We can't help but feel the happiness radiating from her, especially as she's been entirely open about discussing the difficulties of dating she experienced in her former years.

Amy Schumer, Ben Hanisch, Instagram

In fact, she wasn't afraid to dish even more details with Vogue.

"I was always boy crazy, but I wasn't promiscuous," she explained of her teenage years, revealing that her best friends were mostly Catholic-school girls with bad reputations. "They were acting out sexually years before me. I loved being around that, but I didn't have sex until I was seventeen. And I didn't give a blow job until I was well into college. I'm sure I had some sort of dick in my mouth, but I wasn't performing sex acts until later."

LOL! College, on a more serious note, became a bit of an experiment after she lost herself in a struggle with finding confidence.

"I lost all my self-esteem freshman year," Schumer—yes, the gorgeous woman covering the July issue of Vogue—admitted. "I think I was maybe in the twenty-fifth percentile in hotness."

Amy Schumer, Vogue

Annie Leibovitz for Vogue

Thus, she sought other ways of getting attention. "And then in my sophomore year, I probably had sex with six guys, and I was like, Maybe I'm like Samantha in Sex and the City and I'll just keep this train movin' so that I don't get attached to anybody."

She adds, "And you won't believe this, but that did not work out. But I always thought that sex was funny. I was always interested in it."

This is precisely why many of Schumer's jokes encompass sex. It's part of the way she's bending the rules of comedy—not with sex jokes but by simply being herself.

"I wouldn't know what motivates Tina Fey and Julia Louis-Dreyfus," Schumer said. "This insatiable drive. I have it too. Sometimes I feel like they're hustling, they want something, and they're not going to stop until they get it, and they play the game. I am very into making up my own rules. Like, I don't want to play the game and succeed at it. I want to redefine it. That's the only way I can deal with it. Maybe that's naïve."

We'd call that unique and refreshing.

Read Schumer's full Vogue interview here or on-stands June 22.

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Sensing mischief in his big sister’s voice, 18-year-old James is curious as to what Lynda has invited him round to her room for. He soon finds out. Lynda, 20, and her lesbian lover Jenny, 22, have a wild and kinky new idea that they want to try out after seeing it in a porno. They want to employ strap-on dildos to bugger a bloke. Young James is trusted, and his arse is firmly in those two kinky lady’s sights.

(This is fiction. All persons are over eighteen. This is a sex story. It includes descriptions of: Incest – brother and sister, Anal, a Threesome – FFM, Sex toys, Lesbian, Masturbation, Oral, and possibly other sex acts.)

With both parents being workaholics, I was used to spending quite a bit of time either on my own or round at my big sister’s. Lynda, my only sibling, wasn’t much older than me and had looked after me a great deal during childhood. Now that I too was at the Uni where she lived in halls with her girlfriend I often visited her there.

It was a Saturday and with my parents working today (they were both doctors) I was sitting around at home on my own. I phoned a younger friend to see if he wanted to come over, but he was being dragged to the shops with his mum to buy school-uniforms. It was only early August, the summer holidays, but evidently my mate’s mother was keen to be prepared for the start of the new school year in a month’s time.

“My mum’s annoying,” my mate had grumbled to me on the phone, “We’ve only just recently finished school for the summer and she is hauling me off to stupid sodding shops to buy sodding stupid school stuff for me stupid sodding final year. I don’t want to be reminded of another year o’ school by trying on sodding uniforms.”

So that left me to sit about the empty house.

Naturally, being an eighteen-year-old boy, it didn’t take long for me to decide to take advantage of my solitude by jerking off. Since I’d discovered the delights of wanking I couldn’t get enough of it. I retrieved my laptop and stripped naked. Soon I was kneeling on my bed and pumping my stiff pecker as I perused favorite sites and the naked ladies within.

Half-way through jerking off, the phone rang.

“Bloody fucking buggery,” I snapped, having to tear myself away from the delights of self-abuse.

Naked and with my rigid cock jutting from my hairy groin at an obscene 90-degree angle, I padded downstairs and found my cell.

“Yes?” I asked, with all the discourtesy of a typical eighteen-year-old boy.

“Hey James,” came the familiar voice of my sister, Lynda.

“Hi Lynda.”

“What are you up to?”

“My my, you must be up to something! Something naughty, I’ll bet!”

“No!” I snapped, defensively, as if somehow my sister knew I had been whacking off, “I wasn’t doin’ nuthin’!”

“James, it’s a simple rule. If you ask a boy what he is up to and he replies ‘nothing’ within half-a-second, that means he’s up to something, probably wanking.”

“Whatever. I’m not a boy, and I wasn’t wanking. Whaddya want?”

“Fancy coming over?” Lynda asked, cheerfully.

“Now? Um…okay.” I enjoyed popping over to Lynda’s. I had a bit of an impossible crush on her lesbian lover, Jenny.

“Hurry on over then. We’re going to do something cool!”

“What?” I asked, intrigued. I had started playing idly with my erection.

“You’ll find out. Come on over. Now!”

“Right now?”

“Yes. Hurry hurry hurry. Unhand it, get dressed and come over.”

“I … I am dressed,” I immediately snapped as I stood there naked. I blushed as I looked down and took my hand away from my cock. How did my sister know these things?!

“Just hurry over little brother. See ya!”

She hung up.

I went upstairs and was considering continuing my wank, but I had lost my erection and my sister had said I had to hurry, so I got dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and left the house.

Lynda and Jenny lived in halls at the Uni on the other side of the small city. It only took me ten-minutes to drive over there.

“Hiya James,” Lynda said when she answered the door.

“Hi sis.”

“Come on in sweetie. Take your shoes off.”

Lynda was aged twenty, two years my senior, and she was studying Psychology. She was five-foot-five (three-inches shorter than me) and very slender, with long brown hair. She had a sweet face, big brown eyes (like mine) and an almost perpetual smile.

She had ‘come out’ last year. Our parents were liberal minded and, although they were somewhat shocked at first, neither was all that bothered that Lynda was a lesbian. All our mum and dad cared about was that their darling daughter was happy, which she quite evidently was, especially since moving rooms next to (actually with) her girlfriend, Jenny, at the break. Our parents had met Jenny on a number of occasions and they all seemed to get on well.

I trudged up a flight down a corridor and into Jenny’s small room done up as their sitting room, closing the door behind me. I took off my shoes and plonked myself antalya escort down on an armchair. Lynda stood nearby and we both glanced round as Jenny came into the room through the door from the loo a few seconds later.

Right now Lynda wore a tight white T-shirt that hugged her firm round boobs and ended just above her navel, showing of her flat midriff. Lynda also had on tight denim cut-offs that showed off her slender legs. My big sis often dressed scantily so I did not bat an eyelid when confronted with such an arousing display of female flesh.

“Hiya James,” Jenny greeted me, sweetly, and she sat down on the sofa.

“Hi Jenny,” I said. Like I said, I had a bit of a crush on Jenny and I blushed a little.

Jenny was a twenty-two-year-old legal letters student. She was an inch taller than me at five-foot-nine, reasonably slim with a nice firm and slightly plump arse and heavy tits that at the moment, as she sat on the sofa opposite me, were trying to burst out of a tight white sweater. She had black jeans on that hugged her hips and firm thighs. I could certainly tell why my sister had fallen for Jenny.

The busty young woman had a really sweet and pretty face, a gentle smile, a tiny lightly-freckled nose and such gorgeous, dreamy blue eyes. She had short red hair that was always splayed out and deliberately disheveled, to look as if she had just gotten out of bed (having been up to something more than just sleeping.) Like most red-heads, she had pale skin, which contrasted with Lynda, who like me was lightly bronze colored.

It was funny the way the two women’s personalities contrasted with each other. Lynda was hyperactive, outgoing and very chatty, whilst Jenny was quiet, reserved and often shy around people she didn’t know. Although Jenny was the elder of the two and was likely to be the primary breadwinner of their future household, it was my sister who came across as more dominant simply because of her loud and extrovert personality. Jenny seemed content to sit back and let her energetic young lover take control of most situations.

“So what’s this cool thing we’re going to be doing then?” I asked Lynda, who stood nearby.

“I’ll show you in the bedroom,” Lynda giggled, trading a glance with Jenny.

“This is weird,” I announced, “You two are up to something.”

“We sure are,” Lynda responded, and she reached down and took my hands. “C’mon.” She pulled me up and I got to my feet. My sister then let go of my hands and turned, strolling out the room.

I then felt a hand pat my arse.

I turned and saw Jenny, grinning as she stood behind me.

“Follow your sister darling,” the delicious red-head urged me.

I smiled. I was definitely intrigued as to what these two gorgeous women had planned, my curiosity heightened by the way Jenny had patted my arse and called me ‘darling’, which the reserved woman had never done before.

“James, hurry!” came Lynda’s voice.

I walked out the sitting room through the connecting loo into the small bedroom next door, Jenny following me.

The bedroom was very feminine, with light red painted walls, plenty of houseplants, white furniture and a single large bed under a big, pink-curtain-framed window. The bed-covers were pink and along with several plump pillows were two big red heart-shaped cushions. There were two dressing tables; on top of one were tonnes of make-up and perfumes, and on top of the other was Jenny’s collection of teddy-bears.

The walls held various pictures, the sitting room, some landscape paintings, the bedroom arty black-and-white photos of female nudes. It was a novelty being in this room as I’d only ventured in a couple of times.

Humming cheerfully, Lynda opened a drawer in one of the bedside cabinets and produced from it the last thing I expected her to produce…a strap-on dildo.

With a giggle, Lynda flung it onto the bed, my eyes naturally following the device. I had seen strap-ons in pornos, but I’d never seen one up close. Now, I could never again doubt their existence. It was about seven-inches in length, white and smooth looking, and fitted to a thin leather strap with a silver buckle.

“Cool eh?” Lynda giggled.

Jenny stood near me, smiling and blushing.

“Whoa, a strap-on,” I sniggered, “Cool.”

“Isn’t it great?” Lynda asked, and she picked the strap-on up and waved it towards me.

“Um yeah, great,” I responded, my surprise at being shown this item being pushed aside by my curiosity as to what this was all about. “What’s all this about?”

“Jenny bought this for me yesterday,” Lynda continued, referring to the dildo rather than my question, “We used it for the first time last night. It’s better than our old strap-on. Much bigger! I made Jenny cum three times in succession with it.”

Jenny sniggered, blushing harder. Naturally, whilst jerking off, I’d imagined Jenny and Lynda sucking and fucking each other. It was only natural. I’d seen them kiss a few times – quite passionately once, when they didn’t know alanya escort I was watching – and I’d wanked off to the memories of such sights. Even if one is your big sister, no male who is old enough to masturbate can fail to find the image of two beautiful ladies kissing mind-blowingly erotic. I glanced at Jenny and felt my cock stir as I imagined her and Lynda fucking one another with the strap-on.

“I came several times too with this big thing wedged up me,” continued Lynda, eyeing the dildo as if it were some sort of magical object, “It’s the best prezzie ever. Especially when strapped to Jenny!”

“What’s this all about?” I asked, repeating my earlier question.

Jenny just giggled, clearly expecting Lynda to do the talking.

“Well,” Lynda began, “Jenny and me want to fuck you up the arse with this dildo.”

“Oh,” was the only response I could think of.

“You see,” my sister continued over Jenny’s sniggering, “we were watching a porno the other day and there was a woman who fucked a guy in the arse with a strap-on. Apparently it’s quite fun, for both parties. A reversal of gender roles I guess. Jenny and me want to have a go but we don’t trust any guy as much as you, so we thought you might like to lend us your bottom.”

“You want to fuck me,” I began, somewhat shocked, “up the arse?”

“Yes,” Jenny replied.

“With that big dildo?” I added.

“Yes,” Lynda replied.

“No way,” I said with a laugh, still thinking they were joking, “It’s too big.”

“No it’s not,” tutted Lynda, waving the dildo in my face, “It fits up my arse and I’m smaller than you, physically.”

“It’ll hurt,” I whined.

“No it won’t,” Jenny pitched in, “Me and Lynda enjoy having up our…bums.” I was amused and charmed by her shy reluctance to use profanities, despite the subject matter, and the fact that, according to my sister, this had all been Jenny’s idea.

“Girls and boys may be different round the front,” Lynda explained, “but round the back, bum-wise, we’re the same. If girls like to be arse-fucked, most boys would probably like it too. Not just gay ones either.”

I was wondering what the hell to say. Would it hurt being fucked with a dildo? Would I feel embarrassed? I was certainly reluctant to just back out and refuse. After all, even if what was being planned wold be a bit of ‘reversal of gender roles’ or whatever, it was still sorta like sex. I mean, shit! Sex! Getting nekked with two beautiful lesbians! How many eighteen-year-old blokes got offers like that?

“Um…” I stammered, still not having fully made up my mind.

“As a reward,” Lynda declared, flinging the strap-on to the bed, “you can fuck Jenny after we’ve fucked you.” She walked to her lover and put her hands on her shoulders, urging the blushing Jenny to turn round and face away from me. “It’s only fair,” Lynda continued, “We’ll both fuck you in the arse and then you can fuck Jenny up the arse.”

Lynda then undid her girlfriend’s jeans and then tugged them down to her ankles, along with her pink knickers.

“Bend over darling,” Lynda told her lover.

With a giggle, Jenny did so, bending right over, her lovely bare arse thrust right towards me. Her cheeks were pale, firm looking and smooth. Her anus – pink, hairless and puckered – lay snugly between those buttocks, beneath it her cunt, which was glistening. It was a superb behind. Jenny was reasonably slim, but in contrast to her fairly narrow waist and slender legs, her bum was somewhat plump. My cock was naturally rock hard in my jeans.

“Is this not a lovely bottom?” raved my sister like a car-salesman running his hands over a Ferrari, “Does it give you a stiffy James? I bet you’d love to fuck Jenny up her tight arse wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah,” I replied, deciding to match my sister’s confident attitude, “She has a lovely bum!”

“So you’ll do it?” Lynda asked, stepping away from Jenny, who stood up straight and turned.

“Okay,” I said, “Sure. Why not? Just be gentle.”

“Hooray!” Lynda said, and she gave me a kiss on the lips. “Let’s get naked people! C’mon, chop-chop.”

Jenny stood with her jeans and knickers still round her ankles. I was briefly transfixed by the sight of the neat triangle of red pubic hair at her crotch. Although her cheeks still blushed red (the cheeks of her face I mean) Jenny nonchalantly stepped out of jeans and knickers, then sat on the edge of the bed as she removed her white cotton socks.

Lynda, meanwhile, was hurriedly removing her clothes. I took off my own clothes, my eyes naturally flicking back and forth between my sister and her lover. Soon we were all completely nude. “What a sexy little brother I have,” Lynda said, approaching me once I stood there naked. She ran her hands over my slender chest.

“He sure is,” Jenny said, and she confidently strolled over to me, giving me a sweet smile as she reached round and ran her hand down my spine, making me tingle and shiver.

I was suddenly conscious of my inexperience. These belek escort ladies were well beyond my league. Not that this bothered my admiring audience. They seemed genuinely attracted towards me, Lynda in love with my arse which she was soon fondling as she knelt behind me, whilst Jenny ran her warm hands over my shoulders and chest.

“What a sexy tight little bottom,” came Lynda’s voice from behind me. I felt her part my cheeks, and I fought the impulse to move away and protect my intimacy. I instead let her spread my arse and she seemed to sigh with delight as she examined me back there.

“Nice and stiff eh?” Jenny commented, reaching down and lightly gripping my pulsing erection. She stroked me softly as I nodded, unable to speak as I felt the completely intoxicating sensation of a hand other than my own on my cock. Jenny gave me a soft kiss on the lips. I smiled at her. It was funny how, without her clothes, my sister’s busty girlfriend was suddenly a bit more outgoing and confident.

“Let’s fuck this charming bloke’s arse,” Lynda said abruptly, standing up.

“How do we do it?” I asked her, Jenny still stroking my erection.

“With lots of lube and lots of patience,” Lynda replied. She took the strap-on and began fitting it to her crotch.

“Come onto the bed darling,” Jenny said to me. She let go of my cock and I followed her in getting onto the large bed, the pink satin sheets cool on our bare skin.

Lynda soon had the strap-on dildo fixed to her crotch and buckled tightly.

“Boing!” she giggled, tapping the end. It wobbled slightly. I gulped at the idea of taking it in my tight young arse.

“I still think we might have difficulty fitting it up me,” I admitted.

“Then I shall demonstrate how easy it is to take in the arse,” Lynda declared, sitting on the bed, “Jenny? Bend over. Show my timid little brother how to take a big dildo up the bum.”

“Very well,” smirked Jenny.

I shifted aside and watched as Jenny got on her hands and knees, her lovely big bottom raised and spread. Her anus twitched nervously, anticipating it’s upcoming penetration.

Lynda shuffled over and knelt behind Jenny, the seven-inch white dildo sticking straight out from her crotch. It looked awfully big and thick relative to Jenny’s puckered anus.

“Open the top drawer and get out the jelly,” Lynda said to me.

I leaned over and opened up the drawer in the bedside cabinet. It was a treasure-trove of perverted implements! Several other dildos were there, along with something I assumed was a butt-plug, and also some anal-beads! I had seen some online web-surfing at home. I also saw a tube of jelly and I took it and handed it to Lynda. She used it to grease up the strap-on, slathering the greasy lubricant along the smooth shaft.

“Put some on Jenny’s arsehole,” she said to me, holding the tube out.

“Okay,” I said, excited at the prospect of actually touching a woman’s bum! I squeezed out some of the lube onto the tip of my forefinger, then started running the tip of the greased digit around Jenny’s arsehole. It felt funny.

“Ease your finger up there a bit James,” Lynda advised me.

I did so, squeezing the tip of my slender finger into Jenny’s anus. Her sphincter felt tight and rubbery. Jenny shivered a little and sighed softly, evidently enjoying this.

“That’ll do,” Lynda said, “Now I’m going to fuck this horny babe. Watch closely little brother.”

I took my finger out of Jenny’s bum and watched carefully as Lynda shuffled forwards and guided the tip of the slippery dildo to Jenny’s back passage. I knelt alongside both naked women, eyes wide with awe, conscious of the warmth of the body heat emanating from my sister and her lover who were so close to me.

“Uuuuuuh,” Jenny groaned as Lynda eased the tip of the dildo into her greased anus, “Oh yeah.”

“See it go in James?” Lynda asked me, her voice heavy with lust.

“Yes,” I replied, “Whoa!”

Lynda had eased a full inch of the dildo’s into Jenny’s anus. She paused a moment. Jenny seemed tense, getting used to the feeling of the dildo up her arse. There was little doubt that she was enjoying it though.

“Push it right up me,” the busty red-head urged my sister.

“You got it!”

Lynda thrust forth somewhat abruptly, pushing several inches of the shaft into Jenny’s rectum.

“Oh yes, oh yes! Further. Fuck it up me further!”

“Wow,” I cried, my prick pulsing erectly. I was as amazed at the way Jenny’s normally sweet and shy demeanour had totally given way to a lustful slut as I was at the plastic cock’s progress up her bum.

With a grunt, Lynda shoved the last remaining inches of the shaft up Jenny’s arse.

“There we are,” Lynda purred, running her hands across Jenny’s back, “See how much it took James? Look how Jenny squirms like a horny little bitch on the end of this dildo.”

“It looks like fun,” I admitted.

“Oh it is, it is,” Jenny said, looking over her shoulder, “Oh yeah…oh yeah, it’s good. Fuck me Lynda. Fuck my arse.”

My sister held Jenny’s hips firmly and began to ease the white dildo back and forth in Jenny’s shitter. Both of them moaned softly with pleasure. Lynda soon began to fuck Jenny a little faster.

I went to touch my cock but I hesitated a moment.

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She sat on her stool in the window looking out at the wet street. She knew that he was somewhere making his way back to her but it was late and she needed him. The week had done its best to them both and all she wanted was his control now, to make her free once more.

It was still light when she sat down to look for him, so she didn't realize the lights were off. It was late, she wanted to take her shower and wash the day away but she knew how he enjoyed it so, and would not be pleased if she bathed without him. So she waited, dressed only in her long heavy winter robe; holding it close about her as she thought of how he might play with her this night.

She told herself that she must be patient, he had worked long and hard to help her achieve it. She shifted on the wood stool and thought of her Master and how he had helped her, guided her. It looked like any wooden classroom stool but the seat was larger, so that she would find it more comfortable when they used it. He had searched for it a very long time. It had to be just right for her large round rump. It was her punishment stool. Sometimes he would sit on it when he took her over his knee to dispense her lessons. But often it was where she sat when sentenced to the corner. It pleased him that she had grown attached to it and the need of it in their lives together.

It was a thoughtless gesture; an idle motion. But she felt her breath catch in her lungs as she realized she had caressed her nipples until they stood. She told herself it was natural, they had not seen each other for eleven days. Yes he called her each morning and she in turn called each night, but it wasn't the same as having him with her. She had been thinking of the weekend that would surround them, and how he always placed the rings back through her nipples when he arrived. The sensation returned and she touched herself. And a soft wave of guilt washed over her as she could almost hear his voice once again.

"Slower my sweet, stroke slower. You mustn't rush my pleasure."

Her master was not an unreasonable man. They spent much time away from each other, she needed to be able to enjoy the gift that was her sexuality when he could not be with her. But when she knew he would be with her again, from the moment she was told, her sexuality became his to control until he left her.

She realized what she had done, but stuck her fingers in her mouth and sucked them until they dripped, all the same. Over and over she wet her fingers in her mouth and rubbed the nipples until they were tender and glistened dark and hard. Finally she felt what she longed for as her cunt lips began to swell.

She closed her eyes and let the darkness have her as she parted her thick thighs. Where was he and why must she suffer so? The more she played with her aching nipples the more she moaned for him. She wanted, needed to touch herself down deep in the wetness, but knew her master would not be pleased - not without permission.

She franticly searched the street as she began to shake for him...

" Oooooh my lord...Where are you?"

" Where I've been standing for some time Don't move."

She felt her desire turn a little chill, as she realized what her master had seen. She wanted, needed to explain.

" No. Don't turn around don't move. You mustn't look at me now, not at all."

She heard him put down his things and then move across the room slowly, deliberately as he climbed into her head.

" You were going to come, weren't you my lushes?"

" Oh no my lord."

" Then how many times have you come already?"

" Not once my lord!"

She tried to control the trembling in her voice but he enjoyed the sound of need mixed with a touch of fear.

" You know you must always tell me the truth. Do you think I did not see what you were doing my lovely slave?"

He stood only an inch away from her now and enjoyed how she shook all the more.

" You know you must not have pleasure unless I grant it, now don't you?"

His hand touched her neck and pushed the robe down off her lovely rounded shoulder.

" Oh I did nothing my lord, truly!"

" Nothing...truly?"

He coiled her braids through his fingers and pulled her firmly against his belly.

" Your eyes dance frantically; close them. Now - Tell me the truth."

" I have done nothing my lord. It was late and I waited for you."

" And your nipples - your fingers?"

She could feel his eyes examining her. She could almost see how he looked down at her full round body in the darkness of her eye lids. As his fist continued to hold her close, his other hand travelled from her throat, down over the hard nipples and finally to her wet fingers.

" It's only my saliva my lord, nothing more."

" Spread your thighs wider my precious."

The controlled cadence of his voice filled her. She knew and followed his rules but her body had failed her now, as her wetness increased and her heart beat faster.

" I see the lust dripping out of you in the street light slave, you made yourself come!"

" Oh please my lord, no. I never touched myself down there, not once!"

" But you wanted to, didn't you? And you want to now don't you?"

She fought to find the words as she felt his cock rising and growing hard against her back.

" Oh please my lord, I can't help wanting you."

" Yes my lovely, but you must be punished for letting it take control of you."

" Oh please?"

" Not right away, you must please me first. I've brought you a present, though I can think of no reason why you should have it. Open your eyes."

She opened her eyes and whimpered. Hanging in the air before her was a blue velvet blind fold, dangling inches from her face.

" Put it on my lovely."

He released her braids and she did as he commanded.

" Now turn around to face me."

She spun on the stool and he took in the sight of her swollen nipples and coffee and cream skin against the rich blue velvet. All the images of her through the day, were destroyed by one complete gaze.

" I am near my slave, very near. Do you feel me?"

" Yes my lord."

" Reach out for me."

Her hands came to rest on his chest.

" Now open your thighs wide and draw me near."

Again she did as he bid and trembled in the doing.

" Your public display has aroused me..."

" But it wasn't public my lord!"

" And now you question my observations! You sat before the window touching yourself...do you deny it?"

" No my lord...but I waited for you!"

He listened and could hear the tears in her voice. Taking the hoops from his pocket, one by one, he sucked on the cold metal for a moment before he placed them back through her nipples as she whimpered.

" And I know how helpless the thought of me makes you, but you must learn control."

" Yes my lord."

" Now find my belt buckle and open my trousers, I want to feel your breath on my cock...do it now!"

Her trembling fingers pleased him.

" Yes, yes. I want to feel the same wetness that coated your fingers, all over my cock. I want to feel it until I grow hard and come. And after I come you will suck my cock until it grows soft in your mouth...do you understand me my slave?"

" Yes my lord."

He slid his fingers through her braids once more and held her close.

" Then do it now - yes like that - yes, more. Don't fail to please me. Oooh do it."

Written by P.E.M.Davis Copyright © December 1999, March 2000, April 2003 P.E.M.Davis and "Mazora's World". All rights reserved. Not to be distributed reproduced, transmitted or posted in any manner or portion without the express written permission, from the author.

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Xtreme pack G-spot bullet - bullet vibrator by EdenFantasys - review by leatherlover

  • 15% OFF sitewide — Code: ENJOY15

Add resource

Purple vibrating pleasure

Overall this was a great gift from Eden, and the first time my wife has used a bullet. We like the toy and use it quite often, but the patterns are a disappointment to us. We more like to use it on constant speed, on everything from her clit, to my nipples, balls, or penis.
Simple and effective, easy to clean, lots of variation
Crazy patterns, lights extremely bright
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review

This bullet is designed to be inserted, and placed against the g-spot. It is also great for vaginal stimulation prior to insertion, nipple stimulation, and perineum stimulation. It has multiple speeds and patterns available to satisfy the user, and has a long enough power cable where either the person being pleased, or their partner can be holding the controls, without having to be right on top of them. The bullet is larger than some clitoral bullets, but I don't think that means that you cannot use this one in the same manner. The way my wife and I like to use it is more on her clit for warming her up prior to insertion of our toys or my penis.

Because it has no flared base, and a thin power cable, I would highly recommend against anal stimulation involving any type of insertion. If the anal muscles get a hold of this, the power cable could easily break off trying to get it back out.
  • Who / How / What
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • G-spot

Material / Texture

The battery pack is made out of hard purple plastic, and hard green gripper pads for your hands. The bullet is smooth PU coated plastic, with the cord coming out of the end of the bullet, and a single seam running around it as well. According to Eden, the bullet receives a 7/10 on their material safety scale. It is phthalates free, and can be used with water and silicone based lubricants.

Design / Shape / Size

The handheld control is attached to the bullet via a 30 inch long neon green cable. It is just long enough were you don't have to be on top of your partner, without too much cable that easily gets snagged and twisted each time you move. The bullet is 3 1/2 inches long, with a 1 inch diameter. It has a g-spot hook on the end which extends 1/3 of an inch above the rest of the bullet. There is 1 seam that goes around the bullet, but it can't be felt by my wife, and it is easy to keep the seam clean.

Functions / Performance / Controls

The control case for the bullet is 4 1/2 inches tall, and 1 1/2 inches wide. There are 5 buttons included; 1 for power, 2 for speed control, and 2 for mode control. What is nice about these controls is that you are able to go back and forth while searching for your desired vibration. It means that if you go to a too high of a speed, that you don't then have to cycle all the way through, or turn the toy off, to get back to the desired setting. There are also red lights and green lights that illuminate as you increase the vibrations at the top of the controls. But don't look at the lights, especially when they are all illuminated, it will hurt your eyes.

There are 5 different speeds of vibration, along with 7 patterns. They slowly increase in a buzzy vibration, except from the 4th to 5th, which feels exactly the same. The first pattern is a constant pattern, that goes from vibrating on medium to nothing. The next is a constant decrease from like the 3rd speed to the 1st. The 3rd does a changing variation all by itself. The 4th is another changing variation, which more is not a pattern, but just the different speeds. The 5th does a vroom vroom vroom vroooooooooom kind of pattern. The 6th is another changing pattern that is about maximum strength. The final and 7th does a constant vibration, then switches to a vroom vroom vroom with gaps.

Trying to describe the patterns is difficult, because with them changing by themselves, I don't know if it is a change of pattern, on an increase in speed. My wife doesn't like the patterns really, because just as she is settling into one of them, like 20 seconds in, it changes to a totally different pattern.
    • Lots of variety in function
    • Multiple settings

Care and Maintenance

The battery pack is detachable from the bullet by a simple plug and a 30 inch long cord, which makes cleaning very easy. Simply detach them, use some warm water and soap on the bullet, towel dry and you are ready to go for the first time, or ready for the next round of play. For storage to prevent the cord from getting tangled up, we place this in an extra bag that we have from SSA glass.

    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

The packaging was very simple for this toy. A small clear plastic bag, with minimal information on the front and back of the plastic. You have to tear the bag open, so it's not resealable, and should just be recycled.

We had this toy for quite a few months before we finally pulled it out and tried it. After inserting the 2 AA batteries and cleaning the bullet, we turned it on and tried the different settings on our hands before placing it against my wife's clit. We found out that besides the lowest and second lowest steady vibration, the others were too high, along with any of the patterns. Ok, basic here we come. I first tried it on my wife as warm-up, but this didn't work too well. Then after some licking, she was warmed up enough were she wanted this again. Then with me holding it against her clit, and with me using it solo and with my fingers, she quickly built up a very nice orgasm. The toy worked wonderfully for us, it was easy to hold while also thrusting my fingers, what a great little toy!

We have now used it about 6 times, and it has worked great every time. However, just using it last night, it started acting up slightly. The toy would very briefly cut out then continue, like the connection with the power pack was dirty or something. It was slightly annoying, but not enough to ruin the moment for my wife, and it didn't last that long. She still doesn't really like the patterns too. They can get her close, but the constant changing around with not a steady pattern distracts her.
Follow-up commentary
My wife and I have had this bullet for over 6 months now at least. While it doesn't come out all that often, when it does come out, it always works for us, and turns on the person being vibrated. The removable batteries means that it is usually ready to play on short notice without worries of being depleted, and its size allows it to be good for traveling. Overall, still a good 4 star toy.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
Become a Reviewer. Get free toys. Enjoy Special Deals
Do you like this review?
    Sounds good, thanks
    Thanks for the review! This is so bright, I really like the color scheme. And thanks for the quality photos, too.
    The cords are the first thing to wear out on this type of bullet. You can prolong their life by wrapping a bit of electrical tape around the spots most likely to get bent and tugged -- the last inch of cord where it attaches to the bullet, and the last inch of cord before the plug. That should keep the wires from getting tugged and interrupting the power.
    Thanks for the review
    Thank you for sharing
  • Beneath The Bed
    Beneath The Bed
    Great review and pictures. Thanks!
    Good review!
    great review! this looks great
  • Harpina is gone
    Harpina is gone
    Fantastic review! Thanks for sharing it with us!
    Thanks for the review I have one of these
    really helpful pics! thanks for reviewing
  • sexytileena / absolutely love sex
    sexytileena / absolutely love sex
    nice review
Discussion Posts Last Update
Bullets question 18
Durability and Battery Life 9
Would a guy like it? 4
Multiple types? 5
Question about Xtreme Pack Bullet 9
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After completing this course, you can sit back and await women to interact with you! Because you will stick out from the crowd, they will! So. . . are you ready? Ifyou're reading this in your pc, please start start putting ideas to paper and taking notes.

I usually start with: " When did you backpage escorts like that most recently? At this point I'd introduce Matrix Reimprinting with the EFT tapping, whereby we step into the memory and speech our Younger self or ECHO( Energy Consciousness Hologram) . We inquire how she's feeling and after that continue the dialogue with tapping to publish the injury aspects of exactly what she is going through.

This can range from being a service, and all the way down to a city- specific. These services tend to be very popular with younger singles since they allow backpage reviews for escorts Longview to meet with new friends in their area. Since the members tend to live close 18, these relationship sites also tend to hold more single occasions.

Dating Apps How Our Brains React

There are a number of obstacles facing couples in relationships that are marital, as anyone can see. But the reality is, that for way too many people, there remains a backpage escorts are any real Longview WA of relationships. Why? Since they have not taken the opportunity to understand and learn from the failures of the past.

You understand one unmistakable truth concerning her personally, SMART LADY If you are actually laughed at by her. She's smart. You're on to something like you haven't ever been on to anything else before if you can make her laugh. ' Could be she's lots of insight to how your brain works. That is what we are currently getting at. Being in her company, it might follow from this, you could actually learn to loosen up. Just think if you did this. If you do wind up at last you've fulfilled the one woman in a remote thousand who can see the downright comical in you. But perhaps it just won't ever happen.

Again, by exercising a level of honesty, you will realize that from the moment of birth, your life becomes about creating meaningful relationships: it's human nature. Here is the thing though; household relationships can offer a certain amount of connectedness, as you might be aware.

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We have some great discussions via TXT, email, IM and also phone over the next few weeks. She calls me off and also on every now and then as she is quite active. I ask her regarding kayaking with each other at some point as well as she tells me that her kayak is upstate( scrape that idea) so I suggest going with a jog by the rating online dating websites one afternoon as well as she again comes up with a reason not to. Hmmm, I'm starting to get the suggestion that possibly she isn't interested and choose to give her some area, she is busy besides as well as she could simply new escorts backpage Longview a long time to capture up.

Through it all, you might feel as if you've lost a bit of yourself. No matter how hard people attempt to take you down and how bad things get, your instruction is the something that may never be relieved.

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Use Habits to Relish Your Love By creating or strengthening some of the connection customs that came naturally years before, you can reignite old emotions and develop a happier, healthier, sexier, and more cognizant connection with your partner.

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Take time in case you have to, to speak to woman. Make sure to connect together and see if they're compatible with you. However, don't bea'player' who is looking to have a relationship with numerous girls. It's alright to research, but make sure that your focus is about being with a girl. Be certain that you understand what your focus is. If your focus is on finding a satisfying relationship, there is a time.

This works because you are saying just what the backpage escorts is thinking. I've utilized this techniques every time there's a few seconds of silence. Not only will the girl laugh but.

When you've got a attitude toward Longview WA pregnant escorts backpage or on your own, you are taking a small portion of yourself or a scenario and using it to ascertain the whole value of situation or your self.

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The majority of internet services make it possible for members to interact together, after they've established access /membership fees that are paid and profiles. It is all up to you the member to do your own screening and picking. Too often, people have a tendency to forget it was those who opted to engage with whomever or chose their date.

I hope I dodged a bullet there. Maybe he's got trust or control issues. Yes, I lied about using the app, but why is such a huge thing? I was texting him. What was his issue? I am confused about it.

You don't wish to be the one to do that too often the dialogue turns into a meeting. She will start to contribute less and less while you feel as though you are doing all of the" job" to keep the interaction going.

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How To Find A Person On Online Dating Sites

DATING ADVICE FOR MEN'S RELATIONSHIPS Master the art of seduction and draw women like a true man( and not like a pick up artist) handling your connections and finding the right one By Edmond Dantès Table of little people dating apps Longview: PREMISE THANK YOU D.

A few days after his release from the hospital, he text me stating that he had been sacked. Soon after, his landlady gave him notice to leave. He had about a week to Longview WA fuck buddy ⚣ hinako his rent money or package and go. The weekend of his moving came and he had nowhere to move. He hadn't any friends he could go to wasting away their lives and just telling me how most were on drugs.

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Like, " I believeyou're a great guy, I just don't think that it's going to work" , or" I'm simply not prepared to move forward with whatever right now" . Then lay down the law and then you may have to give him it, When he gets pissy. Of course you need to do what is right for your character and you. I have a tendency to be somewhat feisty, so then you may rest assured he is going to have a mouthful with a Latina roster of your head if he gives me a hard time. But only if he is a jerk about it will I resort to these measures.

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Stick out your chest and draw back your shoulders. This shows women what they are attracted confidence. Take a peek at any millionaire, rock star, or star. They walk this way as they're confident with themselves, and it's.

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He started dating indian dating apps best and backed away. He then came back again. We got to the point of going this week to meet. Then things happened and it didn't work out. And it kind of just dropped, and he has not brought this up again. Has not actually emailed me. I know I was a believer, we had plans and I basically stopped replying to him. I could just let it go. However, I feel as though I owe him the excuse of my relationship exclusivity and should wish him well on his search. Trying to determine if I should take that chance and meet with him at least once, or just end it before it begins.

Jill said it clearly: " I've got four kids- - I am married to the earliest one. " She resents paying each of the bills and having all the responsibility, such as keeping track of the bank account. Instead of blaming Jack she needs to understand that the relationship is a method, and so long as she is overresponsible, odds are Jack is going to be underresponsible.

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CONCLUSION Some people today say fairytales aren't real, and they're just tales. That is how online dating was seen by many folks from its early days. However, people are now are backpage escorts legit Longview Washington to see online dating in a new light, especially when marries someone they met online and hada''happily everafter'.

It appears as if everybody's got the options- open complicated. " Maybe. what is replacing backpage escorts Longview WA us Longview. I will let you know. Sounds good. I'll follow up" And after that, you might be hurt today and then by tomorrow, you've got a brand new proposition to your soulmate.

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I would like to hear about how you did something that you backpage escorts is back Longview Washington was impossible if that's coming the girlyour'e drawn to, end the lousy connection, opening up and discussing how you truly feel, or anything else that might currently seem frightening to you.

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Protecting the Date You should not keep the conversation going for as well long without showing any intent. So the objective is typically to obtain her to pursue a drink with you or something along those lines. So as soon as you have actually clicked as well as the mature female fuck buddy Longview is going well you need to state concerning assembling at some time.

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Keep it a mystery when describing the date. Do not let her know exactly what you are planning. Tell her exactly what to wear and where to satisfy with you, then leave the rest! This gets the woman enthused and assembles amazing amounts of expectation. She will be considering whatyou're doing leading up to the date.

By way of example, there have been a number of times during history when a politician( I won't mention any names) was doing a decent job while in office and prepared to change the entire world. Then out of the blue, they're charged with accepting bribes or they take part in a sexual scandal. The politician was unable to restrain sexual desire or their greed enough to perform their job.

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Preliminary Communication The next thing that you can do is to send messages to ladies who intrigue you. Longview WA alternatives to backpage escorts is no online dating match com; simply take your time. Experience the female's account and also search for usual things to speak about. If you share them, talk regarding usual movies as well as leisure activities. If you do not have a lot in usual however still want to talk, be sincere and also tell her. Ladies highly value honesty. Your message getting neglected is the most awful that can take place.

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Phyllis was a wonderful fuck buddy in french Longview WA with her own interests and life. Her fantasy was to find a man who would enhance her life. Yet she maintained choosing men until she'd become emotionally bonded with anger problems she did not see.

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Suredoing something spontaneous can be entertaining sometimes: " Let's go to the Longview 4chan backpage escorts Chapel in Vegas and get married! " Kind of like going bungee- jumping to a abstinence online dating- - when the cord is broken, or when there is not any bungee cord whatsoever andyou're only heading into a freefall splat. Keep your impulse buys to things that are small, like a teddy bear or part of Teuscher chocolate, maybe not. Life spouses make for impulse purchases.

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This is love is so chosen by your choice, this was your only option. Enjoy never abandoned you, love has always been waiting for you to operate with this. You see when you practice an artwork you become adept at it, and it becomes your path. The same is drawn by it.

When Online Dating, What Is The Best First Message

It's easy should you know how to be charmingly flirtatious, to asian american online dating a woman's unspoken touch barrier. Hold the hand of a lady and Longview Washington are backpage escorts safe her to the pub. Put your arm gently. The idea is to get her comfortable to your signature.

SETTING UP YOUR PROFILES: - Prevent personal, specific particulars. Countless people that are arbitrary are reading your profile. They needton't have the ability to identify your place of work, house address, last name or private contact information. Do not mention where you work, street or the area in which you reside, or the title of anywhere you regularly go.


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Fruit (slang)

Out In The Mountains. A costermonger was a street seller of fruit and vegetables. A gay slang term from the s meaning a sexually uninterested gay man.

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The Language of Kinks and Queens: Speaking of "celebrated fag hag " and former Warhol superstar Dorothy Dean, author Hilton Als writes she "reigned, with both cruelty and compassion, over that site of urban gay culture she called 'the fruit stand'. Needless to say, the Mounties' machine was a crock: It is believed to be passed on near exclusively by oral history and teaching and was found in traveling professions such as those in the gay fruit fly and traveling entertainment industries like minstrel shows and circuses. In South Africa, fruit salad refers to male genitals [54] while elsewhere it can refer to a group of gay men, a set of military medals and badges or a selection of drugs because of the various colors or even a mixture of marijuana and hashish called a fruit salad bowl referring to the pipe used to smoke the mixture, the later two in the context gay fruit fly gay men partaking of them.

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Someone with a very large penis.
1: Dude, you got some kinda boner! Man, you need ta go stick that thing in some ice and stop thinkin about sex!
2: I don't have a boner.
1: Yeah ya do! Don't deny it, ya damn donkey! It's stickin' out like two feet!
dodane przez SoulfulZen kwiecień 25, 2005
1) A four legged horse-like animal.
2) An ass.
3) Someone who is Irish.
Phil McGrady, the donkey, is riding a donkey.
dodane przez almty1_917@yahoo.com styczeń 25, 2005
used as a greeting. can be both good or bad, depending on situation and context. calling a friend a "donkey" means he is cool, your homie, your "dog". but can also mean idiot, dumbass, or jerk.
"what's up donkey? where you at?" to a friend

"dude, this donkey is pissing me off!" to someone you aren't too happy with
dodane przez D-Ball maj 27, 2005
someone who carries a lot of drugs, like a donkey
"living that donkey life" get ignorant - lil boosie
dodane przez Brianna J maj 14, 2007
A term to describe a person, thing, or attitude that is "shitty" or "sucks." Something that is granny panty.
"That waitress last night was so donkey, I never even got my soup." "How did we get screwed on the deal like this? This is such (a) donkey."
dodane przez Hunter L kwiecień 03, 2007
To describe someone who does things wrong a lot.
When fred drops a computer you call him a Donkey

Term made popular by The Junkies 106.7 WJFK
dodane przez Pauk lipiec 05, 2006
When you are doing a girl from behind, you simultaneously pull her hair and stick your dick in her ass, producing a comination of sounds akin to a donkey.
Hair: Hee
Ass: Haw
"She thought we were making love until I gave her a donkey"
dodane przez BDS styczeń 31, 2005

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